“Traitor” Recap, Season 4, Episode 2

traitors

Desconga

season 4 episode 2

Editor’s rating 4 stars ****

How do you kill a believer in a room full of people? Obviously, by starting a conga line. Photo: Ewan Cherry/Peacock

Between the mission to decide who will be targeted for murder and the Secret Traitor further narrowing down the list of candidates, there are only three names left for our traitor. It’s contested between Ian (a threat as a game player), Mark (whose bubbly disposition can make confusing choices), and Eric (Eric was so reserved that his death is said to be a good way to cause chaos). Eventually, our three traitors agree and kill Ian, citing his impressive Big Brother reputation, a notable change from last season’s traitors who fought and cannibalized each other throughout the game.

The first breakfast afterwards is a delight. Lisa says, “I’m literally the first person to knock on the door and the first person to come in. It’s symbolic.” Because if there’s one thing Rinna is trying to do, it’s to treat every innocuous move she makes as “symbolic.” Candiace arrives dressed as a flight attendant and Porsha helps her eat three boiled eggs, forgetting that she even caused drama the night before and calling it “light duty.” Rob R is returning to his Love Island roots by wearing a sweater vest with nothing underneath. And best of all, Dorinda receives a standing ovation and starts crying after surviving the first night. Thankfully, to be honest, that would never have happened unless the producers wanted Dorinda to set the house on fire.

After breakfast, all the players consider who is suspect at the moment, although it is too early to form a definitive opinion. But Tiffany brought up Donna’s name and said she was emotionless and didn’t make much of an effort to connect. Then again, if you’ve ever seen Donna promote her role as Ziploc’s “leftover boss” on the Today show, it’s probably her low-key vibe. But Colton added that he didn’t want anyone to actually say her name to avoid mobilizing the Swifties. To paraphrase “Dear John”, they will add your name to the long list of incomprehensible traitors.

The real suspect they end up with turns out to be Porsha, and not just because she stirred the pot with Michael (bad breath personified) and Candiace the night before. She makes not one, but two gaffes while chatting with Ron and Donna. First she says Ian is “the one I killed” and then says “If we kill the believers…”. The best part about these gaffes is that, you know, Porsha isn’t even a traitor. Well, given the twist in Secret Traitor, I don’t think we actually know that. However, even if that were the case, it still feels like an honest mistake, since she wasn’t the one who actually committed the murder. Remember, this is the woman who once said there were 265 days in a year. If Ron had known that, he might not have been so hung up on this evidence.

Speaking of Ron, he’s the first person Donna eventually warms up to on her way to the challenge. She explained that she knew Travis to be a good person because he worked with her on the show. There was a cut to Travis Kelce trying to remember if he was in Booty before remembering “Are You Smarter than Celebrities?” Exists. Either way, I’m glad Donna has friends.

When Cruella De Vil arrives at the task, she is greeted by Alan, who is dressed as if Cruella de Vil had made his clothes out of tinfoil instead of a dog, and tells him that he must return to the castle with three carts containing the throne. Along the way, they collect money and tokens to win the throne. Those seated upon arrival will be given a protective shield. The main point of this whole endeavor is for Candace to climb over the steps and scream, “Ah! My uterus!”

In the end, it was Yum Yum, Colton, and Caroline who won the shield, but Michael (Porridge with Eyeballs) doesn’t understand how that was decided. What does he mean by “decided”? It’s decided because I got the token, idiot. I don’t know if he’s just overqualified or if he’s simply too stupid to understand how the game works. Either way, he keeps insisting on causing trouble at every turn, so much so that his fellow players can’t seem to decide whether he’s a horrible loyalist or a horrible traitor. At one point, Rob R. pointed out that we should keep in mind that he’s a professional actor, but to be honest, that’s hardly the case. All he does is play the fool.

Once at the roundtable, three suspects emerge. First, Donna believes that her reserved demeanor is just her personality and that she is a low-hanging fruit because she is not connected to anyone else. That’s a good point. Why go after someone who seems almost completely isolated instead of someone who has fame and allies?

Ron then presents the evidence against Porsha, which includes, in addition to her gaffe above, another incident in which she confidently claimed there were four traitors – something she theoretically could not have known had she not climbed the turret. We, the audience, know she wasn’t there, and we have no reason to believe that the secret traitor was given information about how many other traitors there were. So, again, in reality, it looks like she’s just playing the words fast and loose. She told the table that she simply misspoke. 3 times.

The spotlight then shifts to Michael (the angry bastard who wanted to go to Scotland), who once again starts complaining about how no one will protect him, and in the process makes a gaffe himself, saying, “I kicked Ian out.” The table jumps, and what fun it is to watch him struggle. “Maybe we should stop talking,” Maura says, if you’ll listen. He’s really bad at this game, but luckily Alan voted for me. As this happens, we cut to a wide shot and you may have noticed him reaching over and stealing Dorinda’s glass of water. He was drinking water throughout this roundtable because he was so nervous and dry.

Although the results were disappointing, it certainly wasn’t a shock that our beloved Porsha was voted out, considering the three pieces of evidence. One of the hardest things about this show is watching people who are good at being on TV get kicked off the screen. She’s always been great on TV, but she wasn’t very good at games. Because she kept saying she was accidentally killing people (which she admits she didn’t actually do). When she announced that she was a believer, the entire room gasped. “Oh, crap,” Donna says. Ron apologizes loudly as he leaves us forever.

“I thought I had clear and true evidence, but instead I sent a beautiful woman home,” a defeated Ron says in his confessional, instantly winning me over – but now the world’s attention is on him for killing his followers. As for Donna, she tells the others that her shyness stems from being a fan of all the other players and feeling worthless. “I did the same thing with Paul McCartney at the Super Bowl,” she says casually, amusingly drawing comparisons to the former Beatle and figures like Dorinda Medley. And rightfully so!

But that’s not all tonight. The traitors are informed that tonight’s murder will be carried out overtly by hidden tarot cards representing the final candidates, which must be retrieved and burned without anyone noticing. If they succeed, they can finally meet the secret traitor, but how can they carefully empty the kitchen to get the card?

“This would be a great opportunity…for CONGA LINE,” exclaims Candice. I was beside myself. This is really the most unobtrusive method possible, but it works. Rob C. also instantly realizes that a murder is happening right in front of his eyes, but he wins some and loses some. As Candice congases everyone out of the kitchen, Rob R. picks up a tarot card and he and Lisa decide whether to kill Monet, Rob C., Tara, or Kristen. One of those four goes up in flames.