Reality revival of Fonties?

Meredith and Lisa are stuck together, but Angie K. shows up with a scroll and a phone number. Photo: Clifton Prescod/Bravo

What a bewildering start to the reunion! No, I don’t mean Bronwyn has long hair. After Andy does his usual greetings and introductions to the women sitting on the couch, he asks Meredith, who is of course in the spotlight this season, what her goals are for the reunion. But before answering, she told Whitney she had a question of her own that would set the tone for the day, asking about an interaction at BravoCon where Whitney said she wanted to clear things up. Whitney explained that she was being extra friendly because she was drunk, but Meredith twisted the friendly exchange to claim that Whitney recanted all the accusations she had made this season. All in all, this is a strange digression that brings us right back to where we started – in the show as well.

When Heather says that she thinks Lisa is a “dangerous friend,” Lisa quickly shoots back, calling Heather “sneaky,” considering that she was the one who seduced Angie into revealing the “flirting and farting” story. He then accused Heather and Angie of forming a “tag team” with the money they got from Lisa and Meredith. Tag Team will be part of this reunion. I’ve long stated that Meredith and Lisa formed an alliance of sorts heading into this season, and that’s true. Throughout the episode, we see them talking to each other and jumping into the other’s fights, but I don’t think it’s a crime. That’s what a housewife is. Just make it your own.

As for Lisa skipping the RV trip, Whitney says she couldn’t believe Lisa was actually working because she’s never willing to pass up a photo opportunity. What’s even more suspicious is that Lisa hasn’t even posted a photo with Ben Affleck. Before a sentence can come out of Whitney’s mouth, I see Lisa reach for her phone. I wonder how her photo app is structured. Does she have Ben Affleck saved under “People” for easy searching? Or does she have a designated folder for Ben Affleck? In any case, she eventually finds the photo with Ben Affleck, even if she has to scroll through it — although it’s from 2017 and not the event in question, so it doesn’t completely disprove Whitney’s claim that she was really in Miami recovering from cosmetic surgery.

Can you imagine if Lisa denigrated other women like this? Well, you don’t have to imagine! As Bronwyn points out, this is no different from how Lisa has been pursued all season. But when the conversation turned into a back-and-forth argument over the differences between each case, I blacked out. My brain no longer has the capacity to endure them repeating the same thing over and over again in an infinite loop.

As the conversation turns to Bronwyn’s family, it’s clear that the truce struck earlier this season is no more. That’s further amplified by a video of Lisa telling a group of fans at Bravocon how small Todd’s penis is and how big his belly is. Now, was what Lisa said terrible? of course. But I also think it’s morally wrong to expose the exchanges between Real Housewives and fans who happened to meet on the street. It’s a sacred contract. Anyone who has ever met these women in the field knows that they love nothing more than you walking up to them (except for Ramona). And then they’ll spill something to you, a stranger, that will send the PR person into anaphylactic shock. But there is an understanding that we will keep those secrets rather than record them or post them online.

Somewhat randomly, we’ll interrupt our discussion of this season’s drama to celebrate the show reaching the 100-episode milestone with a montage of some of the most iconic moments (and one-liners) from the past six seasons. Coincidentally, this montage is exactly what I see when my life flashes before my eyes during a near-death experience. The group becomes emotional as they reflect on their journey and the impact they’ve had (Mary even says she’s fallen in love with the group) and wonders why this wasn’t the end of the reunion, but alas.

Finally, after 28 minutes of waiting, Brittani Bateman arrived with her new stuffed animal. And sure enough, it speaks and delivers yet another message of love from Jared, which visibly disgusts Mary. Now that the stars of the show have finally arrived, it’s time to dig into the season’s big crossover between RHOSLC and Below Deck Down Under. But were Heather and Jason depressed? No, Heather clarifies that when she said they were “fooling around,” she meant they were just hanging out together, and that if they were really dating, she would have shouted it from the rooftops. I love the way they can make English mean whatever they want.

Well, it’s time to put on Meredith Marks’ lawyer hat and discuss Bronwyn’s case. However, she draws the line by saying that she basically doesn’t talk about things that she doesn’t talk about, but everything is resolved and on schedule. She talks about her conflicts with her roommate and her eviction from more than 20 years ago, which was expunged after she admitted wrongdoing. As she talks about it, Lisa and Meredith are caught whispering, but they reveal that it’s not about Bronwyn, but about other things that “we” may need to get back to. Yeah, it’s like a tag team, Heather points out.

But was it Lisa who leaked this to the press? She insists she didn’t, and even Bronwyn says she doesn’t think they did, but that she thinks they’re making sure these articles get attention once they’re out there. For example, Lisa spoke to the media and blamed these stories for delaying her trip, which she says amplified the stories. But Lisa says it’s not her fault these things cross her desk. “I’ve always been an avid reader. I started reading at the age of three and a half, so you can read on Twitter,” she explains. can’t believe it.

But when the conversation turns to his business, Lisa has to read the word in a different sense. Heather is confused about what exactly LUXE Marketing (Lisa’s company, not Vida) does, and Lisa lashes out at her for even asking. “You’re at a Daniel Radcliffe event or a Bella Twins launch event and you don’t know what the hell I’m doing?” The concept of putting Daniel Radcliffe and the Bella Twins on equal footing is Chef’s Kiss. As this side of the couch wants answers about their castmates’ business (a loaded, but fair question considering the precedent set by Jen Shah), Lisa turns and asks Bronwyn what she’s doing because she’s unhappy that Todd is spending all his money on producing plays. And what was the play that caught your attention? Queen of Versailles. Maybe people who live in unfinished glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

When Andy asks Angie what she thinks about all this, we get a delicious prop job. It looks like she pulled out a fancy scroll and sat through this entire episode. “I knew Lisa and thought we were friends, and it turns out she was trolling me. She said she wasn’t a source, but when I opened it…the person who was trolling me had the same phone number as Lisa,” Angie said, handing over a scroll full of evidence. Maybe? Have the producers’ prayers been answered? Probably so, but we’ll have to wait until next week to find out if another Reality Von Tees will take place.