BBC/Studio Lambert/Euan Cherry
- Spoiler warning: This article reveals <a href="https://comicvibe.com/how-to-get-yeat-skin-in-fortnite-bundle-price-and-more-details/” title=”How to get Yeat skin in Fortnite: Bundle, price, and more details”>details from the fifth episode of The Celebrity Traitors, series two.
Things are hotting up a bit in the castle, not least for Ross Kemp, who doesn’t seem to be enjoying it very much.
“I’m quite angry,” he said, his brow furrowing even more than usual.
“I’ve suffered at the hands of the traitors and now they’ve put heat on me, so I’m quite angry about that,” he said.
“They’re using me like a donkey.”
Clearly they aren’t hitching rides on him at the seaside – that would be another show entirely – he’s referring to them pointing the finger of suspicion at him by making him stand out when he doesn’t want to.
Firstly they kept the former EastEnders star and documentary maker above ground at the grave-digging task, sparing him from being buried.
In this episode, he was one of four celebrities who had to sit alone in a tomb, before one of them was murdered.
This was intended to get tongues wagging about him, deflecting suspicion away from the actual traitors.
Joanne McNally was convinced enough by this to say: “The vibe with Ross is off. His eyes do not close.
“He has not blinked since we’ve been here. He is giving cyborgs.”
BBC/Studio Lambert
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Meanwhile poor Rob Beckett was murdered face-to-face by the traitors, while Romesh Ranganathan was spared, along with Little Mix’s Leigh-Anne Pinnock, who received a key granting her immunity.
Beckett, who has wisecracked his way through the series, found being murdered hilarious.
“I’m a dead man,” he grinned, when he finally saw the traitors in person.
“And in a way, this is good news for the faithful because I was nowhere near getting Maya Jama and James Acaster. No chance.”
He did manage to leave with a veiled threat though.
“I know one thing – my boy Romesh Ranganathan will avenge my death and he will get them.”
Ranganathan was genuinely saddened and regretful the next morning at losing his comedy comrade.
“He’s so unthreatening that he’s never going to get banished, so he’s the guy we should have given the key to,” he said.
“He also happens to be one of my best friends. I’m sad. It’s not going to be the same without him.”
Whether all this will sharpen his sleuthing skills, as Beckett hopes, is another matter.
BBC/Studio Lambert
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Comic James Acaster, possibly the most reluctant traitor in recent memory, accurately called killing off Beckett a “chaos murder”.
“This is a bunch of faithful who read into everything,” he said. “They go, why did this happen? And with this murder, there’s no answer, and they won’t suspect it’s us.”
More accurately, he should perhaps have said: “They won’t suspect me or Maya,” given only two-thirds of this tactic worked.
Meanwhile, the task for this episode made some of the celebrities quite jumpy.
This was despite it not involving being buried alive, drinking stinky water or diving down an old toilet, all of which wouldn’t have been out of place on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.
This episode’s death parade saw them having to solve puzzles to avoid being seized and held captive by guards looking like Skeletor, from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
“That is genuinely terrifying,” said Pinnock as the walkers approached them on the edge of a forest. “We are literally in a horror film.”
Michael Sheen took each puzzle as an opportunity to flex his acting muscles, using his finest Shakespearean actor’s voice to bellow out the instructions to everyone else.
He should have grabbed one of the death walkers to do a quick burst of Hamlet.
The celebrities were victorious though, winning all the prize money for charity, and the task ended with Kemp and James Blunt using flints to spark a flame, igniting some gunpowder to hold the death walkers at bay.
At the end of the task, players captured by the death walkers were held in a cage until the round table. This included all three traitors – Hannah Fry, Maya Jama and James Acaster – as well as Ranganathan, Jerry Hall and McNally.
Oops, bad move. This left a traitor-free zone at the castle, where theories could fly without the traitors trying to derail them.
BBC/Studio Lambert/Euan Cherry
Kemp firstly had to defend himself, which he did by saying: “In my defence, I would say if I was picked to be a traitor, I wouldn’t have been so paralysed on the first day about the hat [where he thought he was killed in plain sight].
“And the grave thing, I don’t think it would be traitorous behaviour to get everybody out before you start looking for the money, so I would say that in my defence.”
This seemed to work, before James Blunt was briefly questioned. But Fry – an actual traitor – came in for the most flak.
YouTuber King Kenny swooped, saying: “There’s no surprise that I’m going to be talking to you, Hannah. I just don’t understand, how are you still here?
“Because when I think about it, as a traitor, you’d be one of the first people that I would get out. But also, as the traitor, you’d be extremely good because you’re very smart.”
He wasn’t wrong, and this ignited the growing chorus of celebrities who also suspected Fry.
The mathematician tried to defend herself, saying: “I’ve been sort of doomed from the beginning because either I was going to be killed by the traitors or, as has happened, if I don’t get killed by traitors, the faithful are going to suspicious of me.”
BBC/Studio Lambert
When votes were cast, the vast majority were for Fry. Even her fellow traitors turned on her – both Jama and Acaster voted for her, to ensure they looked like faithfuls.
“I came in here with absolutely one job and one job only on my mind, which was to catch traitors,” she said before she was banished.
“And I calculated every conceivable scenario except for the one that actually unfolded.”
This was because she was of course recruited mid-way through the series.
She later added: “My fellow traitors, they had to vote for me. It was so clearly going in that direction. You know what? I didn’t choose the traitor life, but oh my goodness me, that was so much fun.”
Back in the turret, despite comic Joe Lycett’s desperate efforts to be recruited, Kenny was chosen as the next traitor, because he had been such a good faithful at the round table.
He even gleefully galloped round the castle with Miranda Hart and Sebastian “Bash” Croft after they caught Fry. That was quite an unexpected sight.
BBC/Studio Lambert
After Kenny got over his shock at the traitors’ identities, he said: “Guys, just don’t do me dirty, do you know what I mean?
“Let’s just try playing a clean game when all three of us get to the final, okay?”
This was just after they both voted for one of their own, so he had better watch his back.
Celebrity Traitors continues on Friday at 20:00 BST on BBC One and iPlayer.
