Rhys Nicholson: ‘Get a hobby – don’t become a full-blown racist’
The comedian and Drag Race Down Under judge on Harry Styles, not having the legs for short shorts, and why sleep is the most expensive beauty product
You’re back on the judging panel of Drag Race Down Under vs The World. What do you think gives Australian queens the edge?
I think our drag tends not to focus as much on female impersonation. It’s about building a character. People like Lazy Susan, who’s on the judging panel this year, is one of my favourites because there’s no illusion about this being a man in women’s clothing, but there’s creativity to it. I think Australian drag is about creating art, as opposed to creating a woman.
You’re also on The Traitors Australia soon. Is there a reality TV show you haven’t been on that you’d like to?
Doing Traitors actually taught me that I don’t think I want to be a contestant again, because I’m used to knowing what’s going on. In Drag Race, I know what’s going on all the time and I’m in on everything, but being on Traitors was like Oh my god!
What would I do? Maybe that UK show Hunted – where you’re on the run. I’d just go to Daylesford and hang out in a house for a few weeks. Put on a wig or something.
You wear a lot of fabulous suits. How many do you own?
I have a new suit for every episode [of Drag Race], so it’s in constant rotation. Some I’m lent, and my stylist and I put them together, but I have about 40. I do a big clear-out every year and last year I took about 10 or 15 of them to this op-shop at the top of my street in Melbourne. I dropped them at the door and a few days later I walked past and the windows had become all the suits. It looked like a memorial for me.
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Speaking of … is there a song you’d want played at your funeral?
Baby I’m Burnin’ by Dolly Parton … What I actually want for my funeral – and this is true and my husband told me to keep telling people this so they don’t think he’s a monster – is a natural burial, where they put you in a cotton shroud and plant a tree on top of you. But I want to go in with a thud. That’s important to me. It’s like the last time someone will go “Jesus, Rhys.” Maybe they could put a bit of water in the bottom so it squelches – I want that splat noise. Then maybe Baby I’m Burnin’ would play after that.
If you had to lip-sync for your life, or for the world, what song would you pick?
Imagine if I did Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell. [Sound of disgust] A ballad! It would probably be something like Barbra Streisand’s Don’t Rain on My Parade, or something from the 60s, because if I was a drag queen it would be that era of drag that’s 50s and 60s-inspired. I wanna look like Joan from Mad Men.
What would your drag name be?
Dina Hunger.
I really hope that’s not how you go!
No! I want to get very fat so I go in with that good thud.
Is there an ideal length for men’s shorts?
What Harry Styles is doing is fine by me. There are very few people I’m comfortable with queerbaiting, but Harry Styles, I’m fine for you to keep queerbaiting.
But I reckon if you’re gonna go above the knee, it needs to be short shorts. And you can be any size or shape to wear short shorts – it’s a confidence thing. I don’t really have the legs for them. But, as a hard rule, never three-quarters.
What’s your biggest beauty tip?
Sleep! The amount of time and energy and substances I used in my 20s to not sleep and now all I want to do is sleep … and I’m not against botox or anything. I use my face too much in standup. But I think sleep is the most expensive beauty product I own.
What do you do when you can’tget to sleep?
I smoke pot. It’s legal; I have a prescription for it. I don’t like sleeping pills. I don’t even like the feeling of being stoned that much, but I have a little vape pen and it helps because I used to have really bad insomnia. For years I slept like three or four hours a night and was going insane.
What’s your most controversial pop culture take?
This isn’t controversial, I guess, but I think you can leave a major news organisation without having to activate a hard-right base. It’s possible. To all these men, it’s totally possible to start a podcast about your interests. Cooking? Maybe do one about cooking. You don’t need to go full hard-right. Get a hobby; don’t become a full-blown racist.
Finally, who is the most famous person in your phone contacts?
Probably Michelle Visage. Don’t have RuPaul’s number – never got that.
Ronny Chieng? James Acaster? Ronny Chieng is the most famous person I know, and I’ve just filmed a special and he and James Acaster produced it. What’s funny to me is, because we all started around the same time and they’ve obviously [makes a skyrocketing motion with his hands], people freak out about them and it’s like, I showed Ronny how to use the curtain at the Sydney Comedy Store. Now he’s in The Devil Wears Prada 2!
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Drag Race Down Under vs The World is now streaming on Stan. New episodes drop weekly. The Traitors Australia season 3 premieres on 4 August on Network 10
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