Why is her anger treated differently? Sai De Silva points to Erin Lichy and Daisy as she questions tone policing on Bravo’s ‘RHONY.’
ByBernadette Giacomazzo
November 6, 2026
Key Takeaways
- Sai De Silva affirmed her Black Puerto Rican identity on Marjon Carlos’ Your Favorite Auntie podcast, saying her RHONY castmates “don’t see me as Black.”
- De Silva accused castmates of racial double standards, questioning why Erin Lichy and Daisy escape the tone policing she says targets her and Jessel.
- She said a lack of empathy during her separation strained her roughly two-decade friendship with Daisy, arguing that others mistake her strength for not needing support.
Real Housewives of New York City star Sai De Silva says her castmates have a problem recognizing her racial identity, even as she continues to deal with what she describes as racial microaggressions and double standards on the Bravo series.
During a Nov. 5 appearance on Marjon Carlos’ Your Favorite Auntie podcast, De Silva questioned why her behavior receives scrutiny that other women on RHONY seemingly avoid. She also addressed viewers who have challenged her identity as a Black woman, making it clear that being Afro-Latina doesn’t make her any less Black.
“My father was Black, my mother was Puerto Rican,” De Silva explained. “I do consider myself a Black Puerto Rican, and I’m very proud of it.”
The Brooklyn native said the issue extends beyond viewers questioning her background. She believes her castmates also fail to recognize that part of her identity.
“I don’t think my castmates see me as Black either,” she said. “I think that they put me in like, ‘Oh, she’s Latin,’ kind of thing.”
According to De Silva, that distinction hasn’t prevented her from experiencing what she considers discriminatory treatment. She pointed to incidents involving Erin Lichy and Daisy Toye, asking why their confrontations haven’t drawn the same criticism she receives.
“When Erin was at a seder, she is screaming that another woman is a homewrecker. Why has no one said she was angry?” De Silva asked.
She also questioned why Daisy’s raised voice hasn’t generated similar complaints about her tone.
“Why is no one tone policing her?” she continued. “I feel like there’s a standard only geared at me and also at Jessel, too.”
De Silva also discussed her strained friendship with Daisy Toye, whom she has known for roughly two decades. Their relationship became strained while filming, with De Silva saying she wasn’t receiving the empathy she needed while navigating her separation and other personal difficulties.
“Sometimes I’m like there’s a double standard for me on this show,” she said, explaining that being perceived as strong often means receiving less sympathy when she’s struggling.
The discussion comes as the RHONY franchise faces renewed scrutiny over race after original cast member Jill Zarin was removed from E!’s The Golden Life. Zarin was dropped after criticizing Bad Bunny’s Spanish-language Super Bowl halftime performance and claiming there were no white performers, despite Lady Gaga’s appearance.
Zarin subsequently said that she wasn’t given an opportunity to explain herself, saying, “People make mistakes. I’m human.”
