How to utterly embarrass yourself while “playing” Elden Ring on Nintendo Switch 2
Posted on August 26, 2026 by Nicholas Serpa in Features, Switch 2
Look: although I have the privilege of writing about video games for this fine outlet, this does not, by any measure, mean I am always good at said video games. Everyone here on the Nintendo Everything team has a genre or two they know like the back of their hand, and I can tell you with complete certainty that Soulslike games are notmy area of expertise. Regardless, the Nintendo Switch 2 port of Elden Ring and its Shadow of the Erdtree expansion – now bundled as the Tarnished Edition – remains one of the biggest third-party releases on the console this year, and I figured this would be a great opportunity to see if I was cut out for the challenge of one of 2022’s top-rated games.
Spoilers: I was not cut out for said challenge.
If you want to learn all about how to make an absolute fool of yourself while playing Elden Ring on Nintendo Switch 2, read on.
1. Spend substantially more time customizing your character’s appearance than considering your class choice
Elden Ring has a remarkably robust character creator that lets you adjust practically every pore of your warrior’s face. I can’t recall the last time I played a game in which I had so many distinct ways to negligibly adjust the size and positioning of a character’s nose and nostrils. And of course, all of this is a critical step towards getting immersed in the adventure to come.
I probably should have spent the same amount of time considering my character’s class. I opted to go into this game completely blind, so I just flipped through the list of classes and picked the one that seemed the most relevant to how I would normally play an action RPG, ultimately landing on the Bandit class. This seemed to be wise at the outset, because I figured that having a bow as well as a blade would be useful, probably leaving me well-equipped for most foes I would encounter in the early game.
While it wasn’t a horrible choice, I did find myself wishing pretty quickly that I had opted for a build with some more oomph. Having a knife that I could swing quickly felt good, as it allowed me to be nimble, but at least in the early game I didn’t get a ton of use out of having a bow on hand. Meanwhile, the character I made – a snow-haired stud I named Alabaster – spent 80% of his screen time with his face obscured by armor. Go figure. The good news is that, as the game progresses, there are plenty of ways to customize both your playstyle and your look, so you’re not locked into anything major.
2. Take things slow. Play in docked mode.
How this version of Elden Ring might perform has been the subject of much conversation prior to launch. A world as sprawling and moody as The Lands Between is typically something I’d want to experience on the biggest screen possible. So it’s a real shame that I spent as much time fighting the game’s frame rate as I did fighting Godrick Knights – in docked mode, at least.
It’s not unplayable by any means, but it’s also far from perfect. Elden Ring’s docked frame rate heavily fluctuates depending on what is happening onscreen; generally it seemed like the more interesting the environment was, the more often I would encounter issues. There were times when it was so noticeable that it even made Alabaster’s running animation look a bit stilted. The game itself looks really good on the big screen – although not quite comparable to other platforms in terms of fine details – but given the scale of the world, the density of foliage and foes, and the very impressive lighting effects, it’s an understandable compromise.
In handheld mode, though, the game looks and runs immaculately. It’s a bewildering experience playing a game like this on such a slim device, and the fact that it looks as crisp and runs as smooth as it does in this mode is truly a miracle. I would also say that the smaller screen helps mask some of the DLSS and (what appears to be) dynamic resolution scaling better than while playing in docked mode.
3. Try and fight everything you see. Don’t worry about it!
I mean, sure, that giant tentacle monster slithering along the beach doesn’t look like a friendly fella, but it’s in the game’s opening section of the map. The developers wouldn’t seriously place such a high level foe right in the way of a player who is just trying to wander of the beaten path only a little,would they?
…would they?!
I know I shouldn’t be too surprised that Elden Ring doesn’t hesitate to destroy players who get a little too big for their britches, but it’s not just the big beasts that will KO you. Just about anything in this game can pose a serious threat if you are underleveled, underequipped, or underskilled as a player. I definitely felt like I fit into all three of those categories… well, the entire time I spent playing Elden Ring,really.
4. Constantly forget that this game is notBreath of the Wild
This game, in fact, does have quite a few similarities to Nintendo’s highly acclaimed Zelda adventure. Extremely sparse storytelling that’s mostly delivered as a by-product of exploration? Check. A cool horse? Check. Picking up reso unfathomably massive that you wonder if you will ever possibly see everything in it? Check
So, you’ll have to forgive my muscle memory as I repeatedly tried to climb things that could not be climbed (read: most things), jump over things that could not be jumped over, and casually wander into places that, apparently, are always filled with dangerous creatures that can wreck me in about 2 hits. In the opening area?And people play these games… for fun?!
5. Stubbornly, repeatedly insist on not backing down from completely optional combat encounters out of hubris
Very early on in Elden Ring, I stumbled across a little camp of soldiers across from a huge castle gate. With my (theoretically) lighter and stealthier build, I figured I could probably just off them one by one without raising the alarm. I also figured there was probably some good stuff tucked away in there that would help me not be so much of a pushover.
For the most part, my strategy was a moderate success, to even my own surprise. I’d sneak up through some shrubbery, stab a grunt in the back, then move onto the next one. Very consistently, I’d clear out about 80 percent of the camp before getting detected, and shortly after, find myself slain by one particular soldier that was way stronger than the others.
Eventually, after over two hours of this (I know, I know), I realized I could just exploit the enemy AI by luring them out of camp, waiting for them to lose interest and turn back, and then taking them down from behind as they mosey back to base. After a few attempts, I merged to do it and completely clear out the camp.
My reward? Some weapons that I wasn’t able to wield with my current class/level. Not really worth the effort, I’d reckon. Sometimes, going around an obstacle is just as valid a path as going through it.
6. Nighttime is the perfect time to explore uncharted territory!
Everyone is sleeping right now, so should be that much easier to sneak past these ruins and… wait, where did those murderous bats come from? Yeah, certain types of creatures are way more likely to appear at night, and chances are high that they’re not the type of company you want to keep. A few bats may not sound like a big deal, but it’s not difficult to quickly find yourself swarmed, being attacked from all sides and unable to defend yourself.
There are better things to do at night, like chat with your ghost maiden companion Melina at a Site of Grace. Or just advance the clock to daytime, if you prefer.
7. Switch equipped armaments at the worst possible time, every time
Something I actually quite like about Elden Ring is that you can equip multiple armaments for each hand and toggle between them quickly, even in the heat of battle. Early on, playing as a Bandit, I started off with a bow and shield equipped to my left hand that I could swap between, and a knife and small sword equipped to my right hand.
Of course, the downside to having so many options readily available is that it’s quite easy to be doing one thing, then wander into a situation in which you really should have had the other thing equipped instead. On more than one occasion, my brain was telling me I had already had my shield equipped, when to my dismay I quickly would realize, nope, that’s still my bow! It’s also really easily to accidentally tap the wrong button on the d-pad in the middle of a fight and accomplish this same thing.
This is, I’ll emphasize, completely my fault. Pay attention, lest you end up like me!
8. Forget to go back and pick up your lost runes
This is one of the most important things to avoid doing in this game. Runes are everything in Elden Ring, serving as both currency when trading with merchants and your main re, you lose them. Unless, that is, you can make it back to where you last failed and retrieve them before you inevitably die again
The game tells players this basically from minute one. And going into Elden Ring, I already knew this was something I was going to have to do. The game is also extremely helpful at telling you, onscreen, exactly where you need to go to pick up your lost runes. It’s even somewhat forgiving in that if you, say, back yourself off a cliff and plummet ten stories to your death, your runes can generally be found at the top of said cliff instead of at the bottom.
The best way to ensure you can never level up or buy the things you’ll need, in case you were wondering, is to do what I did several times and completely forget to go retrieve those runes. Even if you have to run into a hostile area and then quickly run back out, taking that risk is better than just giving up that progress altogether.
9. Waste all your arrows at every opportunity
Look, I never tried to waste my arrows, I’m just really good at doing so. Hunting animals, or trying to pick off weaker foes from a distance, often seemed like a good idea! And it can be, if you actually manage to land said shots. I promise I’m not completely inept, but genuinely, I cannot tell you how many times I thought I was within range of a target and ended up being just a bit too far outside it.
Fortunately, arrows are easy to craft if you have the right animal parts, which you can get from hunting, which is super easy because you can just fire off arrows from a dista-…shoot, am I really out already?!
10. All caves are meant for spelunking, no exceptions
The really fun part about caves is that not only are they super dark, but they’re also super enclosed! This is a blast because when you find yourself cornered by a pack of wolves (and let’s be honest, you’re lucky if it’s only wolves), it’s remarkably easy to get surrounded and have nowhere to escape to. The best part? Those runes you just dropped are now right in the middle of where all those cute little puppies spawn.
The rewards in the caves are usually pretty useful, though.
I sincerely hope this guide will help new players enter Elden Ring: Tarnished Edition a little more prepared than I was, and hopefully not find themselves banging their head against a wall too much.
Overall, I will say that despite the challenges I’ve faced even just in this game’s opening hours, I do find myself compelled to keep playing. Even considering the performance issues I faced while playing in docked mode, this game is extremely impressive on Nintendo Switch 2, and I can see myself slowly chipping away at it over time. It will take me an incredibly long time to do that, given how far this game is beyond the realm of what I normally play, but I think that’s part of what makes this game such a great fit for a console like Nintendo Switch 2. For games like this where you really have to go in with patience and an open mind, being able to pick this up for 30 minutes at a time during my commute to work makes me feel like I might just manage to beat it someday. Had I needed to exclusively lock myself to my sofa for a game this challenging, I’m not sure I’d ever have entertained the idea.
Elden Ring: Tarnished Edition releases on Nintendo Switch 2 on Friday, August 28. If this is your first time jumping in, let us know what you’re looking forward to – and if you’re a seasoned player returning for another playthrough, let us know what (useful) tips you have in the comments.
More: Bandai Namco, Elden Ring, FromSoftware, highlight, top
