A mom on Reddit is sharing her family’s experience with a sexual predator in the online gaming platform Roblox, in hopes that other parents will take heed of her warning.
In the r/Mommit subreddit, Redditor u/Sure_Buy6442 described an encounter her 10-year-old daughter had with another Roblox user that led to her daughter no longer being allowed to access the popular gaming platform. She says initially, her daughter, who is almost 11, wasn’t allowed to have the chat option turned on in Roblox, but because a friend of hers wanted to chat in the game, she allowed her to turn it on.
“Today she came to me feeling very overwhelmed and I could tell that she was really uncomfortable and stressed out,” the mom wrote. “She told me that somebody chatted her and asked her her age and she panicked and said that she was 13. It took a while and some coaxing, but she finally told me what made her the most uncomfortable was that this person was telling her to do ‘weird’ things with her avatar and then she actually did them.”
“She said that this person told her to wear a bikini and then told her avatar to take their clothes off and then told her avatar to bend over,” she continued. “She said it went on for a little bit and then she was feeling uncomfortable, but she doesn’t know why she was doing it anyway.”
The redditor says she explained to her daughter that she did the right thing by coming to her and reminded her that “she doesn’t have to be nice to people or accommodating to people that are making her feel uncomfortable.” She also told the daughter Roblox was off limits going forward.
“As a mom, I’m just feeling kind of heartbroken,” she said, “not necessarily at the fact that there was a pervert online because unfortunately that’s the normal. I think I’m more heartbroken at the fact that she was allowing somebody to tell her what to do with her avatar, even though she knew it was inappropriate and it was making it feel uncomfortable. She felt the need to appease this person for fear of being ‘mean’ and it just really breaks my heart because we have been having this conversation since she was a little girl. It makes me worried about actual real life situations and how she would handle herself.”
While some thanked u/Sure_Buy6442 for the warning, others weighed with some concerns.
“I’d be really careful about telling a kid you’re disappointed in them for not stopping grooming behavior the second they feel uncomfortable,” said one Redditor. “Predators are really smart about how they escalate things. Expecting a kid to recognize it immediately in the moment is a lot. And the absolute last thing you want is the kid feeling guilty for not stopping it.”
“She is still just a kid,” said another. “This is her first time encountering this, and she did the right thing telling you and not hiding it. Please don’t shame her or make her feel she will need to hide in order to avoid your disappointment.”
Later, u/Sure_Buy6442 edited her post to offer some gratitude to her fellow parents who spoke up.
“I genuinely appreciate those of you who offered thoughtful feedback, even when it challenged how I handled the situation. Some of the comments gave me things to reflect on,” she said. ” I absolutely understand that a 10 year old should never be expected to recognize or protect herself from grooming. That responsibility belongs to the adults. I think part of what caught me so off guard was knowing that I was literally in the next room, and wishing she had felt comfortable calling me over.”
“As for Roblox, the decision to remove it wasn’t intended as a punishment,” she added. “It was more about taking a step back and reevaluating whether it’s an environment I’m comfortable having her in right now. She seems to understand that distinction and even mentioned that she now understands why some of her friends aren’t allowed to have it.”
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