This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCF chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
I must preface anything I say with a disclaimer: I am a participant in geek culture; I am a nerd. I was an only child raised on the internet and whatever movies, TV, or books I could find at the local library, and every so often I bounced between niche interests, media-based or otherwise. From Dungeons & Dragonsto cosplay conventions, building and buying older gaming systems, and pretentiously keeping up to date with my Letterboxd account, I am a nerd. Through my pursuits across many genres of entertainment, I have come to a realization.
In my short, almost 20 years of life, I am so very exhausted by being both a woman and a fan. The two concepts shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, as there isn’t some stipulation in the general guidebook of womanhood that prevents you from liking Star Wars or <a href="https://comicvibe.com/marvel-we-knew-daredevil-was-ending/” title=”Marvel: We Knew "Daredevil" Was Ending”>Marvel, and yet even in the year 2026, femininity and women are often the target of nasty behavior from the self-proclaimed geeks of the world, online or not.
Why is that, though? Have I just been unlucky to experience the gross underbelly of the internet? Of course, given how vast it is, it’s not surprising I’ve seen and read enough to feel hopeless sometimes, but that shouldn’t say anything about the culture as a whole, right?
Women in Nerd Culture
In my experience, and sadly, one I’ve seen online too, women sometimes struggle to find safe spaces or enjoy themselves in fandoms. You tell a fellow male fan you share his interest in a piece of media, or you’re simply sharing your own joy, and then they test your knowledge to see whether you are a fake fan or vying for male attention like a “pick me.” But if you’re part of a female-dominated fanbase, like Twilight, K-Pop, fanfiction, cozy RPGs, or anything romantasy, and you suddenly sound like the rest of the cookie-cutter bunch, they brush off your opinions as childish.
The ignorance we are treated with is fueled by an undercurrent of discomfort towards women that exists blatantly in geek culture. Hollywood stereotypes it as simply being socially awkward, unable to talk to women and land a date. Except it’s not shyness or antisocial behavior causing this disconnect, or at least not solely. Aggressive and self-centered behavior spans across different online communities of men where women are no longer seen as something to conquer sexually, but as a threat to their peace.
Women in Media
The phrase Mary Sue describes a female character who is entirely perfect, typically beyond competent, without limitations, and often adored in her world; it originated in 1970s satirical Star Trek fanfiction. From the 2010s onward, critiques of leading female characters in famous sci-fi and fantasy productions as Mary Sues have surged. What concerns me isn’t that the masses have dared to criticize a female character, but the vehement hatred flung at these characters.
When the Star Wars sequels came out, Daisy Ridley, who played the protagonist, Rey Skywalker, was driven off Instagram because of the massive influx of hatred from the first film alone. The primary complaint about the character was that, as a Mary Sue, she represented a social-justice-warrior takeover of Star Wars, and this vitriol further fueled derogatory behavior toward the actress.
This set an unfortunate precedent not only in the Star Wars franchise, with Ridley’s costar Kelly Marie Tran being driven off of social media because of similar treatment, but also with other actresses and series with female leads. Some examples include Amandla Stenberg in The Acolyte, Tatiana Maslany in She-Hulk, Rachel Zegler in Snow White (2025), Brie Larson in Captain Marvel, and Halle Bailey in The Little Mermaid (2023), who faced backlash and the hashtag #NotMyAriel due to being a Black woman depicting a previously white character.
The treatment goes beyond being perceived as unrealistically flawless by male audiences; when they are portrayed with any unabashed aggression, sternness, or moral grayness, women don’t get the same level of interest as their male counterparts. Instead, audiences view them as annoying, entitled, or selfish. This is especially true when the female character is, in some way, pitted against male characters. These behaviors are seen in the treatment of characters like Skyler White (Breaking Bad), Velma Dinkley (Velma), Abby (The Last of Us Part 2), Amber (Invincible), Lois Lane (My Adventures with Superman), and Starlight (The Boys).
Recently, Faye, who will star in her own video game, God of War Laufey, has faced online backlash. Some audience members believe Kratos’ wife (the previous installment’s protagonist) is too uninteresting to play as, and playing as a woman in such a combat-heavy game, one who isn’t even depicted with unnatural proportions, is deemed sexy.
I think it is important to notice the trend in how these women and characters are treated online, often within beloved or preexisting franchises that tend to attract large male audiences. Both the real woman and the character are treated like invaders—people encroaching on territory that isn’t theirs. Women cannot be simply equal agents alongside the men beside them, and instead are inherent threats due not only to their clear existence but also to their unashamed existence.
Women Existing In Men’s Spaces
Unfortunately, the belief that a woman’s existence is worthy of critique isn’t exclusive to any culture or community. A standard of the patriarchy and capitalist nature of our Western world is the disparagement of the modern woman, based on maintaining control and enforcing competition between its subjects. In recent times, there is a noted uptake in content criticizing how men now lack spaces for themselves, their culture of masculinity washed away by the existence of women in their sacred spaces. Content creators in the manosphere have certainly made their perspectives clear: women are to be viewed not as a partner, but as prey to be tamed.
Yet in a community of geeks, nerds, and dorks, why do these behaviors remain? This is a community built on an interest in subjects the broader pop culture once sneered at, with a genuine love of the craft and care that go into entertainment. However, the previous lack of power or respect given to these communities, alongside the patriarchal culture surrounding them, creates the belief that women are a threat to “nerd culture.”
“Hurt people hurt people,” as the saying goes; those who believe they are deemed lesser because of their interests will likewise abuse those they can to stay in their comfortable shell and avoid sinking into greater misery. When their environment’s status quo shifts, they lose it and fear and hate any change, because it may mean losing all power and, with that, any respect. That is what is happening with women in nerd culture; we are a continuous change to the status quo, one that has only started to be cemented in the past decade.
The future of nerd culture (and Women’s place in it)
It’s so tiring to be unable to escape the hatred placed upon womanhood, no matter the culture or community you try to find a home within, and it is even more disheartening when you realize you cannot even find it within the self-proclaimed “outcasts” of the bunch. But hope isn’t lost. Despite the existence of misogyny across so many communities, there is still effective growth occurring around the world. For every character with staunch haters, defenders are willing to open their communities’ gates and find connection and happiness in sharing what we all love. Art keeps being created, and although that means we’ll have to deal with the insufferable gatekeeping behavior of false fans, each passing year the concept of women’s existence in geek traditions is less stigmatized and more commonplace.
