- “Bonding” is a Netflix original series that follows a psychology grad student who leads a double life as a professional dominatrix, navigating through various kinky adventures with her gay best friend.
- The show, based on real experiences, humorously explores BDSM themes and the challenges of balancing secret identities, with a mix of laughs and poignant moments.
- While serving as an introduction to BDSM basics, “Bonding” has been criticized for inaccuracies and problematic portrayals of consent, making it a quirky but imperfect guide to kink.
It’s an open secret that Netflix original series are largely hit-or-miss. Sometimes, we get ambitious shows like Bridgerton that end up reshaping the television landscape. Other times, we get comedy war crimes like Hoops. More often than not, we get shows that start out good and then fall off in a big way, like Stranger Things and Wednesday. Still, I find myself willing to roll the dice every time I pick up the remote. Why? Because I’m a degenerate gambler, of course. And because, every now and then, you find something delightfully insane that you can’t find anywhere else. That’s how I stumbled on Bonding (2019), which is arguably the kinkiest show ever made.
Bonding follows the misadventures of a woman who leads the wildest dual life: she’s a psychology grad student by day and a professional dominatrix by night. The show takes great delight in showing how she navigates one wacky client after another along with her gay BFF, a failed standup comedian who gets roped into being her dungeon assistant. Depending on how open-minded your partner is, Bondingis a perfect couples show because it offers a crash course on all things kinky. Fortunately, it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and this black comedy delivers laughs with all the ferocity of a mistress’s favorite flogger.
Pretty In Kink
The plot of Bonding is provocatively unconventional. Our main character is “Tiff” Chester (played by Zoe Levin), who pays for her pricey rent and even pricier tuition by working as a well-paid dominatrix. Soon, she links back up with her oldest, gayest friend, Peter Devin (played by Brendan Scannell), whom she recruits to be her dungeon assistant. Pete is a waiter and a struggling comedian who discovers that humiliating men in a dungeon is easier than making them laugh onstage. Together, Zoe and Pete grow as characters and as kinksters, keenly aware that if their secret is exposed, it could completely destroy their lives.
Now, fair warning: Bonding (which is, somewhat hilariously, based on showrunner Rightor Doyle’s real experiences) is very frank about a wide range of sexual activities. Pete is a kind of audience surrogate, and we share his initial discomfort with all things BDSM as he gets further and further into this naughty world. He eventually masters everything from anatomical humiliation (which goes over infinitely better than his comedy routine) to urinating on people (with their very enthusiastic consent). As for Zoe, she gets clients who are into everything from butt stuff to being tickled until they scream out “mother!”
Learning The Ropes
Fortunately, Bonding is a very well-written black comedy, and all of the freaky sex is presented for laughs. If you’re not too squeamish about the subject matter (which is basically what you’d get if you tried to turn Fifty Shades of Grey into a sitcom), you’ll find a lot to love about this quirky television show. It helps that Zoe Levin is so naturally great as our main character. She’s sexy, confident, and assertive; a bit like her mistress character, she instantly takes charge in every scene. But she never becomes a caricature, and the show explores how the woman who mastered bondage is, herself, constantly restrained by expectations of patriarchal society.
As a black sex comedy, Bonding works exceptionally well. It doesn’t work as well as a kink primer, though. The show is a funny introduction to BDSM basics, including the attraction of power exchange and some of the specific fetishes people enjoy exploring behind closed doors. With that being said, Season 1 was criticized by experienced kinksters for getting many things wrong; this included some problematic issues with consent and even putting its super-dominant main character in a leather O-ring collar, which is the most prominent symbol of submission. So, while more accurate than Fifty Shades of Grey (a very low bar to clear), this show is not exactly a perfect guide for anyone wanting to tip an entire jar of spice into their relationship.
Put The Kids To Bed Before Watching
To its credit, Bonding goes far beyond the dungeon in its relatively grounded plots. The show explores how hard it is for Tiff and Pete to separate their kinky identities and their public personas. It also gets into how messy it can be when others in their lives learn what they do for a living. Some expect them to be on-demand kink dispensers while others see them as somehow less than human. Meanwhile, they still have more mundane problems to deal with, including a manipulative professor, would-be normie boyfriends, and dangerous clients. The result is a surprisingly charming series that alternates between big laughs and surprisingly powerful messages.
In our weirdly repressive society, there’s something weirdly refreshing about such an unapologetically naughty show. Bonding is an honest, heartfelt expression of kink featuring talented actors and provocative storytelling. Plus, the episodes and seasons are short enough that you can binge this entire freaky series in the course of a weekend. If you and your partner are ready to learn more than a few naughty secrets, be sure to stream Bonding on Netflix today. What if your better half hates it, though? In that case, you should master the first rule of kink and establish a safeword long before you pick up the remote control.
