Ben Stillerisn’t focking aroundwhen it comes tohis kids.
The actor admitted that as his and wifeChristine Taylor‘s kidsElla Stiller, 24, and Quinlin Stiller, 21, have gotten older, he’s found himself following the path of his now-overbearingFockerIn-Lawcharacter Greg Focker.
“I always was more of a Greg guy in terms of, I didn’t have a lot of rules and stuff like that,” Stiller exclusively told E! News at the movie’s world premiere on Nov. 11. “But then, as you let them out into the world, they live their lives, you care about them, you see things coming at them, and you want to be protective.
Similar to Greg’s own arc, however, he added, “You try to hold back, too.”
Focker In-Law—premiering in theaters Nov. 25—follows Greg as his now-adult son Henry (Skyler Gisondo) brings home his girlfriend Oli for the first time. More than 25 years after Greg had to impress his now-wife Pam’s retired CIA agent/veteran dad Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) inMeet the Parents, the tables have turned
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“I understand the Jack Byrnes tendencies, which are similar, honestly, to the Greg [Focker] ones,” Stiller posited, “which are to be protective. It’s just different ways of expressing it.”
After all, while Greg was competing with Oliominance while riding bikes, Jack strapped her for a polygraph test
But when it came to working with Grande, Stiller was so into welcoming her to the Focker family.
“She just has amazing timing,” he recalled. “She’s really, really good. I’d seen her inWicked, and I knew she was great at doing a very specific kind of character. In this movie, she really pulled something off in creating this person who you’re wondering about.”
“You’re not necessarily rooting for her, but then you are rooting for her,” he continued, “because she is a good person, but she’s also kind of interesting, too. She gave it all these great colors and she was amazing.”
Meanwhile, theZoolanderstar admitted he can’t quite relax when he reunited with De Niro—with whom he starred in 2000’sMeet the Parents, 2004’sMeet the FockersandLittle Fockersin 2010—once again.
“Over the years, we’ve gotten to know each other a little bit, but not that well,” he admitted, but teased, “Enough that I’m still intimidated when I see him. I feel like that’s always gonna be there. That’s part of the dynamic.”
But even blue steel wasn’t strong enough to calm his nerves while working with the Oscar winner.
“It’s always a little something because he’s always Robert De Niro,” Stiller emphasized. “He is a living legend for us actors.”
Now, keep reading to see more of Stiller and Taylor’s really, really, really ridiculously good-looking family moments.
Kennedy Pollard/Getty Images for Don Julio Tequila
Previously, Ella served as her dad’s plus-one at the 2022 Emmys, the 2018 premiere of Free Solo, the 2017 premiere of The Meyerowitz Stories and the opening night of the Broadway musical Groundhog Day.
“I was very happy it went well,” the Zoolander actor told E! News of working with Ella. “She showed me a lot of respect, which I appreciated because with a teenage daughter you want to be like, ‘Don’t be like how we are at home! Let’s pretend we’re actually nice to each other!’ No, it was really a super positive experience for both of us.”
As Stiller told E! in 2019, Ella “seems to have a desire to explore” an acting career.
Taylor also spoke about Ella’s decision, telling Us Weekly in 2018 that she never “discouraged” her from following in her parents’ footsteps.
“She came out of the womb with a mission, and I was never going to get in her way,” The Brady Bunch Movie alum explained. “She is a very strong-minded, strong-willed young lady, and she loves it. Obviously she was born into the world, but I think living in New York City, she has been exposed to so many incredible things and shows and so … she has the bug. There’s nothing you can do about it, but I did not encourage it.”
“She’s pretty articulate about it, and sometimes it’s stuff that I don’t want to hear. It’s hard to hear,” he explained to Esquire. “Because it’s me not being there in the ways that I saw my parents [actors Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara] not being there. I had always thought, ‘Well, I won’t do that.'”
While Stiller noted that it “didn’t feel great” to hear Ella say that, he said it was “important to acknowledge” her feelings: “But then it’s that thing that, like, I was trying to navigate my own desire to fulfill the hopes and dreams I had, too.”
The Severance director went on to say that Ella and her brother Quinlin were never keeping notes on his absences due to work, they just wanted to spend quality time with their dad.
“What I’ve learned is that your kids are not keeping score on your career,” he explained. “It would be solipsistic to think that my kids actually care about that. They just want a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them. That’s probably what they want more than for me to be going off and pushing the bounds of my creativity.”
“What really helped her was if we just played her favorite artist on the iPhone, and we just played Taylor Swift,” he explained. “I was a fan, but I think now I’m a total Swiftie.”
Swift’s music “would calm her, and it would calm me,” Stiller shared before going on to prove just how big of a fan he’s become. “We got into the later stuff—Folklore, Evermore. ‘Cardigan,’ ‘Betty’ and ‘August’ all being about the same love triangle but from different points of view. And the characters are named after Ryan Reynolds’ and Blake Lively’s kids. And then the ‘All Too Well’ 10-minute Taylor’s version from the vault.”
“It never felt like a big decision for me,” she shared during an appearance on The Morning Call in 2010. “When I had Ella, my whole world changed. I couldn’t believe how much love I had for this little creature. I wanted to be a part of it all. I didn’t want to miss anything, and with Ben working as much as he does, I felt it was important for one of us to be the stability in the family.”
Stiller told Parade in 2016 that he felt “very fortunate” that Taylor made that decision.
“Ben and I make these green drinks in the morning and they look at us like it’s from another planet,” she told People in 2012. “I joke, ‘Just join the party! Don’t complain so much, just join us.'”
The Search Party actress went on to detail Ella and Quinlin’s differing tastes, saying, “My daughter loves veggies but doesn’t love fruit. My son loves fruit and doesn’t love veggies.”
Still, Taylor hasn’t given up hope. “It’s that thing where your parents aren’t cool for a while and then suddenly they are,” she explained. “We just kind of plant the seeds.”
“This is his first event. I think he’s just having fun with it,” Taylor told Us Weekly at the time. “Last year, our daughter came to the event for the first time and she encouraged him to come this year, and being able to make it fun and again the extended family that we’ve built and I think we’ve seen each other for 20 years and we’ve all watched our kids grow up.”
“For them to come out on a school night,” Taylor, who sits on the board of directors for the organization, noted to Us Weekly in 2018, “have a little fun, dress up, take some pictures, but then learn about an incredible organization, that’s huge.”
