Gisele Bryant’s hostile takeover of Aspen

Gisele’s coup d’état on her Aspen trip forces Angel into a corner, creating more misery than entertainment. Photo: Bravo

Currently, my favorite non-reality TV series is “Industry” on HBO. I love it for the same reasons as everyone else, but even more than that, I’m obsessed with the show’s premise, which we’ve known from day one about a woman determined to better her life at the expense of the world, trying to rise to the top by tricks and tricks with a caravan of Machiavellian schemers she calls colleagues and mentors. Without a doubt, Harper Stern is my favorite evil black woman on TV right now. I can only stand in awe of her and her ruined bohemian braids as she stares down, slightly irritated, as a client strokes her front.

While Harper is an example of a Machiavellian plot exercised for maximum enjoyment, Potomac’s Gisele Bryant shows how a similar plot, poorly executed, can have disastrous consequences for all involved. It’s a wonder of wonders why I still think she’s at fault for why she can’t stand the events that rightfully infuriate her: substandard treatment from the hosts. Still, her ultimate problem is that her lack of tact and consideration escalates something far beyond reasonable measures. Is it appropriate for Angels to complain about substandard accommodations and hosting failures? Absolutely. Is it worth it, fun, or productive to sit on a private jet and scold Angel for over 30 minutes about this issue without saying a single risqué word? Not as far as I’m concerned.

Therein lies the problem with this program. Gisele is the most driving member of the cast and its anchor, but without Karen to really rein her in, the mood and tenor of the cast adapts to her whims. More than one woman later sheepishly admitted that Angel’s attempt to show her Aspen experience went too far, but that was almost entirely in confessionals and not in person. Angel had no choice but to endure the barrage of clearly trying to apologize herself, but Wendy jumped in to land an unnecessary jab edgewise. Not only was this extremely unpleasant to watch, but it further cemented Gisele as the gravitas of the cast for the foreseeable future.

Angel definitely made a number of unforced errors that led to this issue, but at this point he’s completely backed into a corner and fighting for his life. She has been punished for not being open about her marriage and refuses to accept what she says about her family life as fact. She gets slammed for having alliances and friendships, but that’s what everyone does. Caviar bumps (this is a known trend) are unsanitary and undignified. She is accused of assuming the workers were telling the truth when they reported the water had returned, and of not hearing any objections from the women. While this is a hosting failure, it’s not the world’s worst violation.

This outrage would be more understandable if Potomac had a reputation for charming cast trips, but we all know that’s far from the truth. That’s why they keep reusing the same footage from Cannes and Nevis, even though Gisele claims her standard is the Four Seasons. Four Seasons is a hotel chain that hasn’t seen her in the past 10 years. Now we have to add some humor to her fantasy of hosting a prestigious trip. It’s all because women are afraid to tell her that she has already won a dead horse and is now just spouting delusions. It’s in moments like these that it becomes clearer than ever why Karen is the dissident force we need to end this immediately.

It’s a shame because the day that Angel had planned was so wonderful. It included a private jet to Aspen and a private whiskey tasting, a shopping trip to Kemo Sabe and a private catering lounge, and one night of Aspen’s most appropriate midlife crisis, an extended interaction with Mo as all the women reflected on how much they all valued their friendship with Kyle Richards. Conceptually, the initiative was supposed to help the women feel better, but the women went out of their way to criticize every part of the experience, from Monique demanding a marriage response from Angel during their second meeting to Gisele turning to Angel’s side in disgust when she finally broke down in tears. Nothing interesting. By the time they finally go shopping, I’m ready for them to be done with it all and move back to Potomac. Angel can be heard wondering if he should end his trip with the women in Colorado and save himself the headache.

As things calm down and Angel begins to plan the next day’s itinerary, Gisele pulls off a final coup, announcing that the girls are not only going to the Four Seasons, but also returning to Maryland after brunch, and puts the plan to a vote. This is a shameless power play and a disgrace by any definition. If Gisele didn’t leave Miami when Mia drunkenly assaulted Wendy, and stayed in Austin while Ashley made them literally dance on chicken shit while staying at a fancy Hampton Inn, there’s no way I could reasonably persuade her that she couldn’t handle another day of activity. However, if left unchecked, the power Gisele has over the cast and the show can completely corrupt her. While most of the season was an entertaining success, this episode showed the downside to Gisele’s dominance and created fertile ground for Karen’s inevitable return. That trip will come to a tragic end next week. See you all again!

• Even in episodes that aren’t centered around Stacey, she still manages to steal the show. Did you accidentally eat your contacts? I’ve been wearing glasses and contacts since the ’90s, but this is a completely unique experience. However, I end up saying to myself “20/20 asshole” for quite some time.

• Did we know all along that Ashley met her ex-husband, Jack Skellington, in a “members’ lounge” where, for a moment, we thought she was trying to get Mia back into the group?

• I can tell that Jassi really wants her time to shine on the show, but every time she tries to bring up her marriage as a reference point for anything on the show, I cringe in secondary embarrassment. There’s no way in this world or the next that she could truly believe that wrangling over babysitting for her husband’s harem of co-parents is any different than a nursing mother having to figure out how to coordinate her nightly parenting schedule.

• Most of the time she pulls off the look so I tried to ignore the comments on this, but after wearing the stiletto boots, enough is enough. Why is Wendy trying to hold a fashion show to go to Colorado? Visit Designer Shoe Warehouse to pick up some stylish heels and keep them going.

• Short charter flights are much cheaper than you think. I’m not saying I’m going to go to the Hamptons every weekend, but it’s definitely more achievable than I expected.