Kim and Marcus are “Paso Aggressive”

vanderpump rules

paso aggressive

season 12 episode 7

Editor’s rating 3 stars ***

Marcus and Kim never stop breaking up and getting back together and everyone hears about it too much. Photo: Bravo

I sympathize more with Venus because I’m tired of Marcus and Kim breaking up and getting back together, breaking up and getting back together, breaking up and getting back together, and all those gifs of a vase breaking on a loop. I think we’re about halfway through this season, and this pattern has already left me more exhausted than a receptionist at an LGBTQ+ sexual health center on the Monday after Pride weekend. Even worse, they can’t even do it on their own time and always bring drama to the whole group, breaking up and then riding in the same car and sitting next to each other at lunch, but then not sharing a room in the group house. Because they need to prove to everyone that they have disbanded, even though all everyone in the group wants is silence.

This latest fight started over an unpleasant and innocuous comment that Natalie made at work. This is SUR’s 20th anniversary party. Well, not completely. SUR is 26 years old. We know this because we see a photo of Guillermo at the beginning. And, uh, all of a sudden, you’re not seeing ads for erectile dysfunction drugs on your Instagram feed anymore. Because even the algorithm knows that I will heal indefinitely. It was Lisa’s 20th anniversary with the restaurant, and Peter and his 20-year-old careless ponytail showed up, shook hands, and ate empanadas that looked like they were stuffed with goat cheese balls and sawdust. Jason questions himself about the menu and doesn’t even know about the goat cheese balls, which are not only the most popular dish on the menu, but also an important part of Vanderpump Rules lore. As our new goddess and savior Venus says, “Jason needs to be educated on American history.”

Wait, where were we? Oh yeah, the sneaky battle between Schmarcus and Schmim. Demy is yelling at Marcus to set up a water station, but Marcus doesn’t know how and she furiously walks away from Marcus in anger. “I love you,” he shouted after her as she huffed and walked away. “Say it back!” he yelled after her as she raised her hand to fend off his comment.

Natalie walked by and said, “Kim, can I tell her that?” This is a callback to Kim making a stink about Marcus and Natalie being too close in the first few episodes. Rather than roll his eyes at Natalie just being Miley, Marcus goes to Kim and tells her what Natalie said. In this economy? Are you in the middle of your shift? And do we all want to come out of this shift with every finger, toe, and dangling bit? No, sir. This is a very bad idea.

Of course, Kim goes to Natalie’s bar, which is like a broom closet with one wall removed, and says “enough is enough” and tells her to stop talking about her relationship with Marcus. Yes, everyone would want to do that, Kim, but when you two keep having outbursts and meltdowns in public, everyone is going to comment on it. Kim tells Natalie that it seems pathetic to be talking about it. Well, sister, is it true? I’m sure it’s Kim who keeps going back to Marcus who looks pathetic. I don’t want to call him trash, but I’ll at least call him recycled.

Case in point: After Natalie and Kim get yelled at by Lisa for fighting over time, Natalie looks at Marcus and asks him why he would tell his girlfriend about her comment. He said it wasn’t him but someone else heard it. Oh, so not only is he going to start doing something terrible, but he’s going to lie about it so Natalie doesn’t get mad at him? This is about as fun as an Andrew Tate podcast marathon. Marcus goes to Kim and tells her that Natalie asked why, and Kim laughs by telling Natalie that someone else asked. Oh, is this just a game? Are these female emotions just fun for you? Kim then becomes furious and says she needs to tell Natalie that she was the one who said that because she doesn’t want Natalie to think she has “access”. So does that mean Kim doesn’t want Natalie to talk to one of her co-workers? Yes, that’s a great idea. As Venus points out in her confessional, the problem here is Marcus, who keeps making them look stupid.

But that’s not why they broke up. The cast is getting ready to go on a trip, but we’re under the illusion that their real job isn’t a reality show, so it sounds like it’s a work trip where everyone is serving drinks at Lisa’s Women in Wine competition, and the women are just bathing in a tub at Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Off camera, Kim tells Marcus that if he pulls something like Natalie pulled at the restaurant, he can’t talk to her. Marcus reportedly told Kim, “You look crazy for saying this.” Yes, this man totally caused problems between them and told her it was weird for her to react to it. In a confessional, Kim said, “I’m just a girl. I cry a lot, I feel a lot, I love Disney Channel, but he forgets that sometimes.” Hilary Duff, Raven-Symoné, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Zendaya, Brenda Song, and two of the four Jonas Brothers did not approve of the message.

This is also not the reason why they broke up. After Marcus tells Kim that she’s crazy, Kim fights back and Marcus tells her, “You’re ruining my life” and that’s why they broke up. Jesus, get behind the wheel and have air conditioning, Sirius/XM satellite radio, cup holders, and those little shades (do they have names?) that cover the windows to keep the sun out of your eyes. Now, they’re in a car with Demy, Angelica, and Shane (quoting the “she won’t even go here” GIF) heading to a work event, while Venus, Natalie, Audrey, and fellow Cheech cousins ​​are in the other car.

Everyone gathers at the Madonna Inn. Although Madonna Inn has no connection to the Material Girl, it is still a beloved institution. Each room is decorated in a campy theme, there’s a flashy pink restaurant, and the famous waterfall urinals are beloved by many hiking groups on the Central Coast, making the Madonna Inn a great rest stop before or after hitting the trail. At the inn, everyone is talking about Audrey and Shane co-starring in a friend’s music video, and Audrey says that many famous people like Channing Tatum got their start in music videos. She said, “I could be a female Magic Mike.” Well, it’s just a stripper.

Angelica becomes ill because Shane didn’t tell her that he was going to be in a music video or that he was having an affair with Audrey. This take was so stupid that it was put on hold three times during my sophomore year. It’s a video. he is an actor They kissed with their clothes on. And, as other women have pointed out, Angelica is still living with her ex. Is she mad that he’s flirting with girls for work? please. At the beginning of the episode, the two share an awkward kiss on the world’s ricketiest beach chair, and Angelica tries to convince Shane that he should give monogamy a try. Sorry, but this combination is about as fateful as eating cold pasta with warm milk.

After lunch, everyone goes to a large group house that Lisa is “paying” to rent to attend a Women in Wine event. Now that Marcus and Kim have “broken up,” she’s sharing a room with Demy and Angelica, and they start talking about what Chris and Jason are doing to each other on OnlyFans and whether Audrey should know about it. We’ll have more on that based on the preview for the next episode. When Audrey returns, she tells Venus that she wanted to see more of Chris’ romantic side as the boys play a game of strip cornhole. Well, it’s just the usual cornhole, but a girl can dream. Suddenly, a white van pulled up, its headlights cutting across the backyard like a scar. Katie Maloney Schwartz Maloney has a van full of Witches of Weho wine that she plans to sell at the event. She saw children spending their evenings tossing bean bags and dipping their feet in the pool. Through some kind of telepathic link, she can feel things that cannot be seen. The girls start fighting in the room and figure out how to bring out the most emotional pain on their friends. She quickly threw the van in reverse and drove home, past vineyards, past the Madonna Inn, past Santa Barbara, Oxnard, Calabasas, Thousand Oaks, and Valley Village. She thinks that someday she will find a way to drive her van straight into the ocean, so she keeps driving, even as she passes her garage.