Would you want to date a superhero?
ByJade M.Published 25 minutes ago•5 min read
Photo byDevonUnsplash
“Would you rather date Spiderman or Lex Luther?” The question came as a response to me claiming that Spiderman was a low quality man. My answer came almost instantly, “Lex Luther.” My choice seemed to surprise the person who asked me, and he attempted to argue that Spiderman was a good person. Many people associate Spiderman with being virtuous simply because he’s a superhero. We’re supposed to cheer on the superheroes, aren’t we, but are they actually desirable men? Are any men in the comics desirable?
Comics used to be one of my passions. I loved Spiderman, Batman, The Punisher, and Daredevil. I watched every comic book movie adaptation until the release of the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Comic book adaptations flooded movie theaters, and now the same people who once picked on comic lovers were eagerly awaiting the next Captain America movie.
Suddenly, every TV show, movie, video game, and book had to get a follow up comic book series or adaptation. The stories told in comics weren’t thought provoking, and only served to get comics in the hands of these new fans. Comics either went the edgy route, or the safe route, and they soon lost their appeal for me.
Comic books have never been seen as a ‘female friendly’ hobby. In fact, I either got teased or sexualized for liking comics, which played a small part in me deciding to give them up. While the number of female comic fans are expanding, and so is what’s being written, superhero comics aren’t generally written with women in mind.
Looking at comics from the perspective of someone who no longer enjoys them, it’s easy to see that most of the characters in them behave horribly. The superheroes themselves constantly put their friends and family at risk because they ‘have a duty’ to save the world. Who assigned them that duty, and wouldn’t therapy work out better for them in most cases?
Uncle Ben had no way of knowing Peter Parker had superpowers when he told him ‘With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.” It’s more likely that he made that statement as a way to get Peter to look after his Aunt May, who he constantly puts in danger instead. Uncle Ben might not have used his last breath to utter those words if he knew what was in store for his beloved wife.
Peter’s love interests are constantly put in harm’s way as well, with both Gwen Stacey and Mary Jane Watson meeting their ends because of Peter. Peter doesn’t merely cause them physical harm, he also has a handful of storylines that portray him as unfaithful.
The other people in Peter’s life don’t walk away unscathed either. He causes the death of his Uncle Ben after refusing to stop a robber. His best friend, Harry, turns to drug use.
Peter Parker isn’t the only terrible man in comics, almost all of them are. The men in comics constantly cheat on the women they are in relationships with or jump from woman to woman without ever committing to anyone.
Batman is a prime example of an unfaithful man in the comics, since he seems to go through love interests as often as he changes his underwear. Bruce Wayne, his civilian alter ego, is known as a billionaire playboy. The comic book reasons for this type of behavior are often given as to protect loved ones or to protect their secret identities, but it’s more than likely because of fantasy. Men who read the comics don’t want to see Batman settling down and living a happy life with Catwoman. They want a steady stream of hot love interests that they can admire.
Bruce Wayne doesn’t only mistreat the women in his life. He adopts Dick Grayson after his parents are murdered. He allows him to become his crime fighting sidekick when he is still a child. This was likely done to draw in younger readers, but he was putting Robin in constant danger before he reached adulthood. Several other young superheroes take on the role of Robin, including Bruce’s own son. All of his sidekicks are underage or at least start out that way.
Pointing out the flaws in these characters doesn’t mean they are any worse than their rivals. Many villains set out to cause harm for no other reason than the love of chaos. The Joker is the perfect example of this, because even people who don’t read the comic books know who he is.
I was introduced to the Joker when I watched Batman the Animated series as a child. In the cartoon, The Joker was toned down to a more kid friendly version. He did things like use laughing gas on the citizens of Gotham to give them a permanent smile. However, there was one aspect where the cartoon didn’t tone him down.
Batman the Animated series introduced the relationship between Harley Quinn and the Joker. This was one of my favorite cartoons growing up, but now that I look at it with adult eyes, it seems odd to me that an abusive relationship was portrayed in a children’s program. Harley Quinn seemed determined to stay with the Joker, no matter how horribly he abused her. She is still seen as the Joker’s most popular love interest despite not being with him any longer.
Real relationships are messy, unpredictable, and most people do have more than one love interest during their lifetimes. Comic books are often praised for making statements about the world around them, so seeing them tackle relationships doesn’t come as a surprise. Maybe the issue isn’t with the comic books and how they portray men, but the current state of relationships both platonic and romantic.
I’d also argue that women in comics aren’t always the most upstanding citizens. Many comic women do horrible things and are unfaithful to their love interests, but women are usually portrayed differently in comics. They are often seen as victims that have suffered abuse, assault, or other fates that sometimes excuses their behavior. Like when Jessica Jones endured mind control.
Humans are flawed, and so are their comic book counterparts, but what makes an interesting story isn’t behavior most people would want in a partner. While the majority of superheroes aren’t always portrayed in a positive light, there are far too many comic books out there for me to read them all. There’s a possibility that there’s a comic book that features a decent man. Maybe I’ll read it someday.
About the Creator
Jade M.
Jade is an indie author from Louisiana. While her first book failed, she has plans to edit and republish it and try again. She has a senior min pin that she calls her little editor, and a passion for video games and makeup.
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