nathan and gale and baby

Now that the Bravado has officially docked, we finally have answers. Nathan is the boss, Gale is the mother, and Joe… is still the “shit guy.” Photo: Bravo

When we embarked on Bravado, the main question driving the season was whether Nathan could put together a game as the boss. And “Who’s Pregnant?” Other questions about the stability of the deck team piled up like Jenga blocks as the season began. Will Tess and Christian try hard enough to keep their jobs? (No.) Who will take their place when they leave? (V and Joe, with disastrous results.) Will Nathan be able to manage Max’s indomitable personality? (Um…) Who will be appointed Chief Deckhand? (Joe, to Max’s never-ending grief.) Still, two major questions never leave us, and both will be answered in this week’s finale. Not only did Nathan make it out alive, he readjusted his priorities and grew into a more mature and responsible leader. The final moments of this episode see Nathan departing for the new season and saying goodbye to Gael and their baby Kayden. We knew from the beginning that Gale was the baby’s mother, so the reveal isn’t all that anti-climactic. Of course, we found out about this on Instagram, where, unfortunately for all of us, we also learned that Nathan is a bigot. Really puts a dent in his arc.

Especially because despite the vibrant Boatmen landscape this season, the finale’s most dramatic farewell was between Nathan and Joe. They left BFF last season. When Joe returns to Bravado to help the paralyzed deck team, they literally jump into each other’s arms. Sandy was even worried that their comrades would affect the precarious balance of external staff. In fact, it sparked a week of resentment for Max, who felt left out of their relationship. Yet, when it comes time to say goodbye, they don’t even hug each other. Nathan sends Joe off, telling him to take it easy. Joe shrugs that they want different things from life. While Nathan prepares to become a father, Joe roams freely on the streets of Liverpool, wreaking havoc on the lives of innocent women.

To identify the beginning of the end for Nathan and Joe, we need to summarize the final charter. When we pick up this week, Joe tells Nathan that the fact that he’s “not allowed” to have a relationship with Kitzi makes him want to “smell her vagina.” Although he is troubled by Nathan’s judgment of him for this perfectly normal desire, Nathan tries to move on from his “loud, immature” side, the very basis of their friendship. (Just to point out, this is the same guy who was throwing chicken nuggets into the boat with that inexperienced friend just four nights ago.)

When Nathan returns to the boat, he notices that Max is quieter than usual. Max blames it on lack of sleep, but the real reason for his distress is that the season didn’t go as planned. He was on his way to becoming chief deckhand and one day becoming a boatswain, but his “enemy” Nathan got in his way. It probably doesn’t help that the situation between him and Cassie is still uncertain. Kathy tells V that she appreciates Max’s support during a difficult week (imagine, it’s only been a week since Kathy learned of her stepfather’s death), but hopes that Max will agree not to label them. I thought this would be even more troublesome for them since Max doesn’t seem to be the type to play by ear, but it all worked out in the end. Spoiler: They step off the boat together, open to possibilities and willing to take on life as it comes. My question: where did they go?

Kizzy finally returns to the boat after the second breakfast of the charter with a broken toe and boot, preferring not to use crutches and instead having Joe carry him. Despite the fact that Kitsy is three feet down, she and Joe can’t stop falling for each other, while V watches as she’s on the verge of losing her cool. Meanwhile, Josh is busy preparing dinner. Annalize still won’t shut up about the king crab legs even though she’s off the ship in a day and can have them any time she wants in the future, so she has to include truffles and crab legs on the menu because she tries to ruin Josh’s life by forcing dinner to be served at 10pm, even though Josh has been up and working since 4:45am. He does so, and also adds dry ice. After their silly whims are appeased, the dish finally reaches the guests. I’m glad Josh didn’t get slammed on the final night of the season, but honestly, people like Annalize shouldn’t be encouraged.

Asha is awake with Kathy and sends Kitsy to bed, where she is carried by Joe. After a short conversation with Gael, who agrees to return to Barcelona from a surfing trip, Nathan finds V crying on his back with earphones on on the swimming platform. He hugged her tightly and reassured her that he had her back. In that moment, she reminded him of his sister. Later that night at the cabin, Nathan talks to Joe like a brother. “Don’t be bossy or I’ll beat you up,” he promises in a serious tone. Joe makes jokes about everything and tries to charm Nathan the old-fashioned way, which only irritates Nathan even more. In the morning, things between the two of them become very strange. Joe says in his confessional that he didn’t want his best friend to slander him, but he doesn’t mention his feelings or his conversation with Nathan. Instead, they sit in silence.

At least V gets the satisfaction of accidentally stepping on Kitsy’s broken toe. I think the worst part of the Kitsy-Joe-V fiasco was that the season finale robbed V of a sustainable storyline. She was relegated to misogyny, a place no woman wants to be in, and although she acted noble when she stood up for herself, she never returned to the spotlight. This season, V wasn’t just the victim of Kitsy and Joe’s machinations. She appeared as Green Stew, strived to become one of the strongest members of the deck team and conquered everyone’s hearts. Still, the reality TV machine made her look small. Of course we don’t remember her this way, but it drives people crazy.

As crazy as Nathan trying to communicate with Max through the final docking. When the Bravado finally returns to port, Max tampers with the lines and threatens to send Nathan into a spiral. When Nathan asks about it, Max is like, “I’m tired and I’m running out of time for my last charter. Who cares?” I respect that Nathan doesn’t want to lower his standards just because it’s his last docking, but on the other hand, this is also his last docking. The conclusion of their enmity is that they hug each other while both are drunk at a club. Nathan tells Max that he has a good heart, but it’s really hard work. Max laughs. Happy ending!

After the guests leave, the crew gathers for a final tipping meeting. They each earned $1,454 from charters for a total of $19,900 for the season. Should I start yachting? Given the conditions of their cabins and their determination to make things as difficult as possible for the crew, I thought the $16,000 tip from these particular guests was a little short, but I guess all’s well that ends well. Sandy praises the growth, dedication, and performance of the entire crew. However, she does not have dinner with them that night as she is going out with her wife Leah. Leah arrives at the port shortly thereafter. After Lia greeted Ayesha, who was eating noodles and wearing a face mask in the cabin like any sensible person after a long day’s work, the captain and his wife bid farewell to the Bravado.

Meanwhile, the crew begins preparations for departure. Cassie advises Max not to fight with Nathan in order to end the season on a positive note, but Max is not on Nathan’s mind at this point. He tells Ayesha about Joe and Kidzie’s situation, but Kidzie himself tells Kathy that the tension between Joe and Joe cannot be ignored. After all, she broke up with poor Tom — who, by the way, is currently engaged, according to Instagram — and she wanted to kiss everyone on the ship, and she actually did, except for Josh. But Nathan’s real focus is on Gael for the rest of his evening, if not his entire life. Gael, who agrees to go out with the crew, arrives wearing a green minidress and Nathan spins around.

Kitsy wastes no time cuddling up to Joe at dinner, annoying V, who is sitting right next to him, with their “banter”. Joe is already furious at being rejected by Nathan, and Nathan decides to go to Australia with Gael rather than go to Liverpool with Joe after the season. Jealous of the attention Gail is getting from Nathan, Joe officially ignores the guard completely when it comes to flirting with Kitsy in front of V. At the club, Kitsy licks Joe’s eyeballs (yes, you read that right — and saw it right when it aired on TV, too). At least Kitsy and Joe wait until they’re in a separate van from V to flirt. While Gael finally gives Nathan one last chance to be happy, Kitsy also flirts with Kathy just in case. “Oh, Lala,” Max says.

Kitsy and Joe’s long-awaited reconciliation was less than anticlimactic. As an example, Kitsy goes to bed before Joe has any other ideas. When he finds Joe fast asleep, he gives up and eats noodles in bed. Meanwhile, those who have decided to put others first (Gale and Nathan, Kathy and Max) share sweet moments in the guest cabin. Second, as she tells Josh during the crew’s confusion, she put Joe’s name off the kiss list so Kitsy can live the rest of her life without regrets. Rather, it made her realize that she might be in love with Tom, whom she dumped for a kiss like Joe. Her brain was kept in formaldehyde and should be studied by scientists as a specimen of Realitus televisus in the future.

The next morning, one more incident occurs before the crew departs. Amidst the crew’s confusion, a slight conflict arises between Joe and V when Joe tries to make small talk and says he remembers climbing onto the side of the boat last night. V retorts that he had a crush on Kitsy, calls him an asshole, and confesses to Joe. As established, he becomes paralyzed during face-to-face confrontations, going into such a cringe-worthy state of defense that he feels like blood is going to drain from his eyes and ears. He says he’s a shitty man, not a shithead, because at least he’s at fault. He and Kizzi agree that they don’t care about anything regarding V now that the season is over.

By the time all this happened, Josh had already left with his guitar, eyeliner, and trilby. After V gives Sandy his card, he leaves, apparently without saying much goodbye to Kitsy and Joe. Joe himself left Kitzi, promising to focus on his career and “self-growth.” Before leaving, Asha tells Gail and Nathan that they are invited to the wedding, but only if they attend as a couple. Kathy and Max leave together, as has been established, as do Gael and Nathan. And now, dear readers, I say goodbye. What an amazing season it was. Thank you for watching!