Lisa Rinna vs. Colton Underwood

traitors

plan a coup

season 4 episode 6

Editor’s rating 4 stars ****

The legendary Round Table finally awakens Lisa, and the entire castle falls into chaos. Photo: Ewan Cherry/Peacock

Of course, the question at the beginning of this week’s episode is, “Why is Rob dressed like he’s in a hardware store?” Just kidding. The question is whether someone was killed last night – whether someone took up the shield will decide their fate. If no one had been greedy and stolen what was theirs, the traitors would have had no choice but to let them all live. And sure enough, everyone arrived for breakfast. This is bad news for traitors and for those who were hoping for less competition for smoked salmon.

With no new suspects based on the murders, much of this week’s focus will be on Ron and Colton after they each repeatedly target and banish multiple followers. But there is one new name among them. Despite killing Monet, Lisa’s name is still there, thanks in large part to Colton. It seems Colton is physically unable to spend a day in this castle without a target. At least this is actually true. He warns Dorinda to put aside her housewifely loyalties and watch over her, and Natalie agrees that her laid-back behavior doesn’t match the over-the-top housewife they expected.

This three-person race proves especially difficult for Rob. He is close to Colton, and Lisa, Colton’s fellow traitor, suddenly develops a crush on Ron, whom she befriends through chess. Rob says he thinks Ron might not do well at the game because he is introverted and sympathetic. Meanwhile, Ron tells Rob that he can tell he’s a good person by the way he talks about his family. Oh, Ron doesn’t care about Dorinda’s family and is here messing around with Rob? While we were talking, I could see Dorinda taking notes for the reunion.

But even scarier than choosing which of your three companions to exile is the mission that awaits them in the cabin. They have to sit in a haunted cave, where they are given clues that match the tombstones outside. Find the right tombstone and you’ll get money (you can also get a shield in return). But before things get started, everyone makes a pact — a bit of a half-hearted vow for some like Yum Yum — that no one will go take up the shield before the Ouija board-like table starts writing clues. The next clue comes from a bloody woman who screams so loudly that she thinks Tinsley Mortimer is back for revenge, scaring Dorinda. After all, no one got the shield. In other words, the traitor will choose trash.

Back at the castle, the only thing haunting them is the ghost of the murdered reality star, and everyone is huddled around trying to figure out who to take, Ron or Colton. Rob is still caught in the middle and doesn’t like being presented with either option. It’s like watching the US general election unfold. But Colton has other things in mind and decides to make a big deal before the roundtable, pulling Lisa aside in an attempt to get her on his side. “If you protect me with the turret, I’ll protect you with the round table,” he tells her, but she doesn’t take the bait. First of all, it makes no sense at all that Colton said he wanted to win with her. Traitors and faithful cannot win together. Colton, have you seen that show? Second, Lisa is not stupid enough to fall for something like this, so all he does is snitch on her before the roundtable.

But as you might expect, the initial focus of the roundtable is still Ron. He defends himself by saying that while he is hurt for making some mistakes, there are many who have made similar misfires, especially Colton, who is also being pursued by the rest of the table for muddying the waters and sending Faithful home one after another. It doesn’t look good for either of them.

But Ron does something really bold and smart. Cornered into a corner, he says that if he really wants to be as honest as possible with his followers, he should just let everyone write their names and finally get some clarity and stop chasing his tail. His last wish is only to go around the table and say goodbye to each person. In doing so, he gradually begins to persuade some of them. When Natalie begins to suspect that he is the traitor, Tara cuts her off by saying it’s not him, which Rob then says.

The table clearly wants a name other than Ron, so Colton (given he’s the next candidate) jumps in to make his case against Lisa, starting with the fact that she voted against Porsha. “I don’t know much about housewives, but one thing I do know is that you can’t go against them,” Colton says, sounding like an idiot. Because going against the housewife is the most important part of being a housewife. But the consensus in the castle is that her vote against Porsha at the jump was questionable, as was her unconventional, laid-back attitude.

“I’m not going to dance on the table, I’m not going to break wine glasses, and I don’t need to. I think you’re a traitor,” Lisa fired back, citing two of her most iconic moments as a housewife: Andy Cohen’s baby shower and the attack on Kim Richards in Amsterdam.

The vote itself was a close battle between Colton, Lisa, and Ron, with Rob sticking to his choice of the real Sophie. In the end, he votes in the boldest direction against fellow traitor Lisa, but unfortunately for him, she narrowly survives the vote, so he ends up turreting his anger back. Instead, Ron ends up being ostracized and reveals to his class that he is a believer, even though his power campaign is mostly successful. But it won’t be long before Dorinda is happy to see her nemesis depart. Alan tells them that their day isn’t over yet–a banquet is about to take place, and, unbeknownst to the believers, an apparent murder is to take place.

Perhaps if Colton had known the murder was imminent, he wouldn’t have pursued Lisa so intently. “I’m going to drag us both down to get you out,” he whispers to her, and she promises that this time her inner housewife will finally come out. But once back with the rest of the group, Lisa has to clarify something for Colton to correct his preconceptions.

“I’ve been in this business for 36 years, and I want you to know I’m more than just a housewife,” she says, and it’s true. She’s also an M&M. She made a guest appearance on The Middle. Her store in LA was robbed while she was on the Today show. “Don’t expect me to be a housewife, because I’m Lisa having sex with Rinna. Before I became a housewife, Lisa had sex with Rinna, and after I became a housewife, I’m still Lisa having sex with Rinna.”It’s moments like this that make it no wonder she overuses the word iconic.

Colton then tells the room that the traitors should kill him while they can tonight. Because if you go ahead, he’ll go after all the shields. But can they do it? Obvious murder is a tricky thing. One of the traitors must wear a cursed amulet, and the first believer to touch it will die. And while the episode ends without us seeing how this murder unfolds, we do get a glimpse of Lisa’s crazy Donald Duck costume holding the cursed brooch. So that should be enough to hold us over until then.