It happens. Hell has frozen over. There’s a new Fortress Heroes add-on out there that — except for the most annoying people on social media — we can all agree is weirder in a bad way than in a good way. In fact, what arrived was downright terrible. This is the Tesla Cybertruck.
Yeah, forget about all the good (albeit weird) stuff Epic Games has been putting out lately, like Fallout’s T-60 power armor and Metallica concerts, assuming you’re willing to teach too, you can take your dad to a Metallica concert. It’s a grid.
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As announced via Coming soon to “Fortress Heroes”.
What will it do? I guess, if you don’t watch it, just take it for a spin, as the trailer below demonstrates. It shows Fortnite mascot Fishstick in a tug-of-war with a bunch of different vehicles, and, because this is a video game, the chain breaks before the Cybertruck starts to rust or fall apart like Wile. ACME device.
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Then again, Fishstick ends up flying off at breakneck speeds once he’s free, so we can assume the gas pedal comes off, sending the ugly car full throttle. This virtual Cybertuck needs a recall, and we can only hope that Fishstick can hold the brake pedal like his little life depends on it and avoid killing a bunch of innocent Rivias flossing and wiping Geralt in a school zone.
If nothing else, at least there’s a reliable way to tell whether the person who killed you was an absolute weapon. Or a kid who has no idea who Elon Musk is, in which case it’s your duty to fire up voice chat like it was in the Modern Warfare era and give an impassioned speech on the subject of inherited wealth turning people into fools .
Only you can help save our future. Even though it’s clearly doomed now that the Cybertruck has (at least mentally) made its way into Roblox.
