She may be a hot-shot lawyer-turned-investigator, but even Elsbeth Tascioni could use a day or two off.
The New York City transplant has proven she’s a master at solving crimes.
While she always finds her man, that doesn’t mean there aren’t speed bumps.
This is not surprising since Elsbeth always seemed to carry a handbag with two arms.
Seriously, what could she have with these things?
With the second season of the hit CBS spinoff almost here, it’s time to revisit the best, the worst, the meanest, and the roughest of Elsbeth Tascione.
We’re not just talking about her questionable attire.
The Worst – Elsbeth’s Investigation of Captain Wagner
While Elsbeth may have a knack for turning the tables on investigations, she fails when it comes to the captain.
She is sent to New York by Agent Fred Celetano to uncover the truth about Wagner. But she kept dragging her feet.
She only actively investigates the captain in the first few episodes.
As the series progresses, Elsbeth becomes more hesitant to pay attention to her new boss.
On top of that, she can’t even keep a secret from Kaya, putting the officer in the middle of her new friends and the boss she’s always respected.
In this regard, she failed during the investigation. Not to mention, she wasn’t even responsible for arresting Lt. Dave Noonan.
Captain Wagner (Wendell Pierce) catches the crooked cop red-handed. If he hadn’t discovered that Elsbeth was investigating him, he would never have realized there was corruption in the NYPD.
By the end, Elsbeth failed miserably at her mission in New York City. She almost lost her job as a result.
But as we saw in the Elsbeth season 1 finale, Captain Wagner is a soft-hearted man beneath his gruff exterior, and he hired a lawyer on a permanent basis.
So, she must be doing something right.
The best – Elsbeth targets a sadistic surgeon and grabs her red shoes
If there’s one thing we learned from Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 6, “Ear for an Ear,” it’s that you should never wear custom, one-of-a-kind shoes while committing murder.
Many of Elsbeth’s murderers fumbled through the murders, trying to cover their tracks.
Most are so horrific that they almost lead police to evidence. You can almost see the countdown until they get caught.
But not Dr. Vanessa Holmes, played by Gina Gershon! This plastic surgeon had a plan and stuck to it.
She was so meticulous about details that she almost got away with murder.
Elsbeth might not have solved the case if it hadn’t been for Dr. Holmes’s chatty wife, Caroline.
Not only does Caroline fill in the blanks on Vanessa’s motivations, but she also leads Elsbeth to the clues that lead to Vanessa leaving.
This was a tough case for the lawyers, as Holmes was very good at covering his tracks and keeping his mouth shut about Elsbeth.
Not an easy task considering how talkative police aid is.
The temptation to fill the awkward silence after Elsbeth finished one of her rants was too strong.
The episode also introduced viewers to Michaela Diamond’s Detective Edwards, who is quite possibly the funniest character on the show.
Edwards is the only detective who uses logic to stop Elsbeth.
In this regard, she may have pushed the titular character to act best in the situation.
Regardless, Elsbeth (Kelly Preston) proves in this episode that behind those prints and handbags, there’s a solid detective hiding.
Creepiest – Elsbeth must be allergic to good fashion because it messes with her magic
Since Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 10 is the only episode to switch from the “howcatchem” formula to a regular murder mystery drama, viewers are as clueless as Elsbeth at this surprising turn of events.
If you remember, a fashion photographer was photographed at a fashion show.
At this time, Elsbeth was no longer cooperating with the NYPD.
However, she developed a good reputation among the detectives working on the case and was hired as a consultant.
Sadly for the detectives and Officer Kaya, Elsbeth couldn’t get any clues, even though it was one of the very bright colors splattered on her clothes.
Throughout the episode, Elsbeth’s investigative skills are non-existent and evidence is flying in front of her.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, this is also the episode where Elsbeth is the worst dressed.
How on earth did she become the muse of a murdering fashion designer? She wore a furry bucket hat.
He then created an entire fashion line based on her outfits! Why can’t he be in Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 7 “Something Blue”. In that episode, Elsbeth actually wore passable clothes.
Still, Elsbeth’s sartorial choice at the end serves as a reminder not to take the show too seriously.
Bumpiest of all – Elsbeth meets her match in a murderous matchmaker named Margo
Interestingly, Elsbeth Season 1 Episode 4 was the first episode I watched!
If you ask me, I’d say, for all the right reasons, this is the best.
The premise alone is remarkable, but the writers clearly had a lot of fun with this episode. It provides the most lively energy of the entire season so far.
After Margo punches a police officer for giving her a parking ticket, she meets a con artist in jail, which she sets up with her high-maintenance client.
So after a year of courtship, the con artist falls in love with Margot’s client, forcing the matchmaker to stop him from telling her client the truth.
How was she going to stop him?
Hit him over the head with a Cupid statue. I mean, come on! That’s camp gold!
The best part of the episode, however, is Elsbeth’s line, “Lawyers always end up having sex on their desks and you don’t see the staplers until it’s too late.”
I’m gagged! I laughed so hard that I made a motion that made you slowly fall to the ground.
This is by far the best dialogue in the entire series!
Elsbeth Tascioni is a fan favorite for her quirky, campy style.
No matter what CBS has planned for next season, I will be immersed in every second of this heartbreaking series.
Ten Bucks says more than half of the murders in season 2 will be blunt force trauma.
Check out our list of potential Elsbeth suspects for Season 2 here!
What was your favorite moment from Elsbeth Season 1?
Who would you like to see make a cameo?
Let us know in the comments below and join us again as we bring you more fun articles about your favorite new and returning shows!
