All about Eli Roth Borderlands It feels at least ten years out of date. From a sense of humor that was ripped straight from Reddit circa 2011, to a cast made up of actors who are inexplicably decades older than the characters they play, every second of it makes me – a fan of the first two games in the series. Fans – Want to know how and why it still exists in 2024?
With a cast that includes Academy Award winners Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis, as well as comedy stars Kevin Hart and Jack Black, and a director who’s a household name if nothing else, Borderlands In theory, it brings a cachet that many other video game adaptations don’t have. But theory and practice are two different things, and when it comes to the latter, Borderlands This is an adaptation that is both painful and unnecessary.
No thanks, Chris Pratt. The perfect “Super Mario Bros.” movie already exists.
In other words: sometimes video games should just be video games.
what is Borderlands about?
We saw you from across the bar and so on.
Image Credit: Lionsgate
Our journey begins with Roland (Hart), an ordinary straight male soldier Team up with the unstable Juggernaut Krieger (Florian Munteanu, a German boxer I just learned also known as “The Big Nasty”) to rescue a very special young woman named Tina (Barbieof Ariana Greenblatt in her cell on the exploding space station. The trio travel to the rugged desert planet of Pandora, known for its lawless wasteland and teeming with would-be treasure hunters, in search of a legendary hoard of ancient aliens with whom Tina has a special connection.
It turns out that Tina is the daughter of evil corporate overlord Atlas (Edgar Ramirez), whose elite Red Gun paramilitary squad once employed Roland. Atlas hires ruthless bounty hunter Lilith (Blanchett) to track down Tina and bring her back to his hands. But about 15 minutes into the show, Lilith joins forces with Roland, Krieg, and Tina to find the vault, hoping to use its contents to thwart Atlas’ plans for domination.
Oh, and Jack Black plays Claptrap here, a “cute” robot who more or less serves as the series’ mascot. I think he’s annoying, which is accurate in the game.
Please shut up for two minutes.
I also don’t understand why she wears bunny ears.
Image Credit: Lionsgate
Narratively speaking, Borderlands It’s a bit of a weird amalgamation of the first two games. Roland and Lilith are from the first game, while Krieg and Tina make their debut in the sequel. Atlas is an original character from the film, playing the same “evil murderous executive” character as in “Handsome Jack.” Borderlands 2but also has the charisma to host airline safety videos. I estimate he was on screen for a total of 10 minutes max.
The insignificant parts of plot and character development that do exist Borderlands Just goes to justify the infuriating, banter-filled exchanges between action sequences. in this regard, Borderlands True to the source material; a big joke among every gamer I know is that you should mute dialogue while playing.
Fortunately, its 102-minute running time somewhat makes Borderlands At a disadvantage because there is absolutely no breathing room. Almost every joke consists of a hastily blurted quip that is sometimes easy to miss, although I don’t think you really miss anything. One of the only jokes that has time to shine is an uncomfortably long shot of a poop bullet.
This is a movie that thinks about “badonkadonk”, a word that has Appeared in the pop culture lexicon for at least 22 yearswhich is really fun to say in 2024. BorderlandsThe funniest, most twisted thing in the world is a teenage girl swearing and shooting people with a gun. It was kind of funny when I was 14 kick ass It used to be shown in theaters, but not anymore.
I can tell you that I only laughed once in the entire movie, when the nearly mute Krieger shouted “Thank you!” after being praised for his handsomeness. It’s one of the only lines delivered with genuine passion, and I appreciate that.
Borderlands Above all, they suffer from a profound lack of silence. Every moment is cranked up to 11 without a brief pause, almost as if Ross knew that making the audience think about what they just heard for a second or two might prompt them to stand up and do something else. By the end, I really wished everyone would shut up.
I didn’t know that Cate Blanchett could be terrible.
Kate, no.
Image Credit: Lionsgate
It’s not easy for any actor to save a script that might constitute a war crime, but no one wants to do it. Borderlands Efforts are being made to do so. Oddly, Hart is cast as a comedic straight man, rarely displaying the passionate, angry snap that has long been his signature. To her credit, Curtis gives a delightfully quirky aunty vibe as the show’s archaeologist Tanis, but her character is such an afterthought that it doesn’t really matter.
Popular stories that can be mixed and matched
Black’s high-pitched wails as slapstick are at least faithful to the game, if not very funny to listen to. Munteanu doesn’t have to do much other than being burly and occasionally grunting monosyllables like Krieg, who is honestly my favorite character because He barely speaks.
Blanchett’s Lilith deserves a special mention here, though, as this is the first time I’ve seen her act so poorly on her phone. She may have the most dialogue in the movie, but almost none of it is delivered in a convincing way. There’s more to the acting than just the lines, of course, but all of her readings are so wooden and stilted that it’s really distracting from the get-go.
I get it. If I were a great actor, I wouldn’t be excited about this material either. But it doesn’t make for a great viewing experience. While this doesn’t necessarily affect their performance, I would also point out that Blanchett, Hart, and especially Curtis are essentially Older than the characters they play in the game. Everyone feels out of place.
The moment I realized my situation was Borderlands It’s made clear that Greenblatt’s little Tina is the most important character in the story. If you didn’t know, Tiny Tina is known to be one of the most hated characters in video game history. Her whole gimmick in the game was “little girl who loves dynamite and speaks in AAVE”, and that’s largely intact here.
To be fair, it’s not Greenblatt’s fault that little Tina is so irritating. The material required her to be extremely arrogant and abrasive, while also delivering lines that would have made Shakespeare regret his contribution to the English language. I don’t think Tiny Tina’s presence in this movie was directed at Greenblatt, but rather at the person who originally created the character in 2012.
Furio sucks.
This is a really bad car chase scene.
Image Credit: Lionsgate
this Borderlands The game is mostly about shooting guns, so naturally, Borderlands There are a lot of action sequences in the movie. There’s nothing new or interesting about them. Not one.
Maddeningly, while the game is well worth its R rating, the film is rated PG-13. This means that any opportunity for fun, ridiculous violence you see in the game is eliminated before it even begins. Each shootout, in which our heroes try to look cool while firing, is interspersed with shots of faceless, nameless bandits falling to the ground.
There’s nothing physical or dynamic about these scenes, like you’d see in a good action movie John Wick. The film’s few pathetic attempts at interesting fight choreography are overshadowed by bad lighting or crazy editing. There’s a moment where it looks like Lilith might kill a bad guy that would have made people jump out of their seats in a better movie, but you can’t actually see it because it’s in the middle of a flashing flash light sequence , for no apparent reason.
The most baffling decision Rose made may have been to completely ignore strange gun those that penetrate Borderlands game. A big selling point from the first game was that you could find guns that turned into throwable grenades when they ran out of ammo, or emitted a human scream when fired, or coated enemies with acid, or a million other interesting variables. some guns in movies look Unusual, but they all just fire regular bullets. hurry up!
BorderlandsAs an action film, its biggest sin may be that its setting is very reminiscent of mad maxits late-summer release comes a long way from furiousPremiere in Cannes. Put aside the fact that furious It’s a brilliant and elegiac meditation on a practical subject, and a highly successful car chase film deftly directed by genre master George Miller.
Chris Hemsworth’s Dementus is the real scene-stealer in Furiosa: The Legend of Mad Max
Eli Roth is not George Miller, and Borderlands no furious. There is a large car chase scene in the first half of the film, which is really embarrassing in comparison. furious (or fury roador any other mad max movie), if I were Eli Roth I wouldn’t let it see the light of day. It’s a bunch of really bad looking CGI vomit, and the green screen shots are so obviously fake that you could almost make me believe they were, if only they were in a smarter movie.
There is no sense of danger in these sequences. Plus, it’s impossible to tell where any vehicle is relative to the others, and the whole thing ends with the heroes being covered in worm urine. It’s a moment the audience can relate to.
The lesson here is that if George Miller is about to deliver another masterpiece, maybe your own crappy desert action movie will get away with it just fine enough so that no one will even think about comparing the two.
one Borderlands The movie came 10 years too late.
Although developer Gearbox continues to produce Borderlands Games from the past decade ( huge financial success), I and many of my fellow gamers have long believed that its glory days ended around 2014.
In 2009, the first game stood out because it felt right to blend role-playing mechanics with first-person shooting, something that had never been done on this scale before. It also has a unique art style and sense of humor, both of which go a long way in an era of mundanity. call of Duty Counterfeit goods. The 2012 sequel is much the same, but the formula is still worthwhile and I had a lot of fun playing it. However, my sense of humor extends far beyond the dated pop culture and internet meme references that plague these games. There have been many other RPG/shooter hybrids over the past decade that negate the game’s uniqueness. Borderlands.
Well, it’s incredible that someone decided to make Borderlands Made into a movie in the 2020s. Game adaptations are always bound to lose the player-driven interactivity that makes video games video games. Sometimes, the game in question has enough power to make up for this, but Borderlands No. This is a series that makes sense at a specific point in time entirely due to its surroundings.
When you take away the fun co-op gunplay and build the entire story with irritating jokes, you get one of the worst movies I’ve seen in years. Congratulations to all involved for somehow making a film that feels too much like Borderlands But not quite like it Borderlands In any way that matters.
Borderlands Now in theaters.
