When I walk out of a movie theater, I rarely think, “I really wasted over 90 minutes watching this movie.” More often than not, I get something out of what I watch, at best joy or Elated, at worst angry or frustrated. These negative emotions at least mean that whatever I feel, they are feelings that I can process and talk about. But when I walked out of the Borderlands movie, I think all I felt was… apathy? What is the general meaning of “what’s the point”? This is probably the most damning thing I can say about any piece of art, but calling the Borderlands movies “art” would be overly generous.
The film adaptation of Borderlands has been in production since 2015 and is finally being released ten years later. Who knows what the story was originally meant to be, but what we ended up with is this: Lilith (Cate Blanchett) is a bounty talker who doesn’t seem to care about anyone or anything but Her next paycheck, her mission: the head of a large company to rescue his daughter, little Tina (Ariana Greenblatt). Things did not go exactly as planned. Instead, she embarked on a journey with Tina, accompanied by the mercenaries Roland (Kevin Hart) and Krieger (Florian Monteja) who kidnapped Tina. (played by Nu), a big man who doesn’t like to talk. An annoying robot who often makes too many jokes that are unbearable.
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For the most part, this is a strong cast. Blanchett and Curtis are both Oscar-winning actresses. You’d think the prestige would seep into the film. But as the protagonist of “Borderland,” Blanchett’s performance feels like it’s marred by regret. She has previously explained that she took on the role to save herself from the madness of the coronavirus lockdown, but that energy is nowhere to be seen in the finished product. Every line seems to emphasize the fact that she’s not sure why she’s there, and that affects everyone else as well.
Hart continues his painfully boring style, trying hard to look cool at every turn despite playing a seasoned soldier. Munteanu is giving Drax a discount, lacking any of the charisma of Dave Bautista. I think Curtis is good enough. She’s experienced and can handle most roles – similar to Blake. That being said, he made me laugh as a slapstick joke where none of the other jokes worked. At least Greenblatt seems happy, even if her days as a Disney Channel actress are still clearly holding her back.
None of the characters really get any development. I won’t spoil anything for you, but the only change anyone actually goes through is to Lilith, and anyone who’s played the game will see the big reveal coming from a mile away when you watch the movie. However, anyone who hasn’t played the game won’t know why they should care, as her development is completely devoid of any emotion – it’s all plodding along because the plot needs to happen, not because it wants to say anything world. Other characters are relegated to being “there to joke around or be inconvenient” and the plot keeps dropping just to have a rushed ending. Somehow this is both boring and exhausting.
There must be Some Saving grace? Maybe the direction was strong, or the cinematography brought some interesting momentum? No! At best, every scene is by-the-numbers – the first time we meet Roland and Tiny Tina (the first characters we see in the film), they’re both shot in medium close-ups with classic shots Reverse shot. Seriously? Is this how you want us to meet these characters? Lifeless. Still. What is clear is that there is little to offer over the next 100 minutes.
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Even the action sequences you’d expect to take center stage in a Borderlands adaptation are chaotic and lifeless. The editing is crazy, and since the camera is so close to the characters at any given moment, you can’t feel the space. It’s a sad shame, because the film does have some impressive scenes, but they’re rarely fully utilized. It all feels like a wasted opportunity. The world of Borderlands is an interesting one, but none of it is shown off in any meaningful way.
After all of this, I couldn’t help but ask, “What’s the point?” Honestly, I couldn’t figure it out. I mean, I know the real answer; the point is to make money by leveraging an existing popular IP and cash in on the summer movie theater boom. Of course, it can also increase the sales of video games. what’s the point no Here’s something new: explore the world of video games from a new perspective. After all, that’s what helped the Ashes TV show break into the mainstream.
The Borderlands movies exist simply for the sake of existing. Clearly, no one on the cast wanted to make something that no one else had ever seen; the attempt here was to print money. Of course, that’s what much of Hollywood is today, but this movie feels like a particularly egregious example of this bland, creatively bankrupt crime. Don’t watch Borderlands – just ask your friends who love the game to explain to you how good they actually are. You will be better off.
