We were somewhere near Bletchley on the edge of Milton Keynes when the drugs started happening.
I would say something like, “This is my fault. I should never have let you drive.” Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and my traveling companion, with catnip running through her furry little body, lost all interest in the car. At the controls, the car was heading toward Pinewood Studios at a hundred miles an hour, roof down.
Luckily we got lost on a country road so there wasn’t anything to hit when we stopped. Next to me, an airbag was gently deployed by a claw. I sat there, dazed and confused, as if time had stood still. I want to know if I made the right decision. I thought about what led me to make that call. I thought of the squirrel with the gun.
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Squirrel With A Gun (SWAG for short) is a video game in which you play as a squirrel with a gun. Is there more to it than this really cool central premise? The short answer is no. The slightly shorter answer is not really, no. The long answer is maybe, it depends on who you are.
From the moment you launch the game, you’re playing as a squirrel doing things with guns. Your first pistol is given to you by a tripped guard as you exit the open room, and from there you’ll jump from oozis and shotguns to RPG-like grenade launchers. You use them against agents, the mysterious Men in Black, and you end up on their blacklist, as well as doing some platform jumping to get acorns and other goodies.
Once you get out of the underground bunker you start in, there’s an open world to explore, which starts out as a cozy little suburban community and gradually has additional areas opening up and being added to it as you progress. Aside from a few boss fights and sections that open up these areas, you’ll generally be running around like you would in Goat Simulator or Untitled Goose Game, interacting with different locations and scenarios to get the gold and bronze acorns you need to unlock Spawn points for guns and vehicles.
While it might be a little unfair to compare these little missions to those in Goat Simulator 3, this latest entry in the fun “animals run around and cause mayhem” genre has become a popular trend in terms of complexity. And polish-wise, a lot of the missions do this to feel like a slight imitation of what you do in the game. The same goes for the little costumes you collect for the squirrel, or even the battle with the tank. But here’s the thing, when it’s not doing things like Goat Simulator, Squirrel with a Gun is a lot of fun.
There are limitations to things like combat with agents, but the game comes into its own when the Bond-themed parody of a gun-toting squirrel that plays every time you click on the main menu suggests it does. It’s about action. They raced, jumped, and screamed in the streets. It’s about climbing trees and flagpoles, then jumping into a group of agents below, and managing to twirl underfoot fast enough to avoid their fire, climb on their shoulders, and snap their necks.
This is to slow down time so you can try your hand at aerial driving with your sniper rifle, because as you jump between a floating bouncy castle and a platform with a giant slide, you see a big gun and you can’t resist Swap out your Uzi. In the game, you equip a bomb suit, launch an RPG into the ground, and then your squirrel is thrown headlong into the air while your squirrel screams like a GTA protagonist because someone pressed the wrong button. , accidentally stepped out of the helicopter.
It’s about some animals that are very silly little guys, but are also basically secret agents. To be honest, I’m not sure it manages to be as engaging as it could be in its short running time – which is totally fine by the way, a game like this shouldn’t be a 60 hour slog. It’s the best when it convinces me that my cat will be the next James Bond.
After all, her fur makes her look like she’s wearing a tiny tuxedo, she’s picky about how her food is served, and she can move like a ninja. She could find a way to teleport herself out of the room where Harry Houdini might be trapped with the door closed. She can run along rooftops. She can land on her feet from any height. She can speak politely. She is privilege personified. She can – and will – kill you.
When I got back to the car, I came to my senses. We were on the road and Cat’s engine purred. I caught a glimpse of her little yellow eyes in the rearview mirror. Even though she’s 3 and 28 at the same time, she still looks a little innocent. I’m not sure she’s ready for the brutal nature of being an actor, but I’m confident.
I’m sure Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Daniel Craig were heartbroken once they were handed her first prop pistol during her audition.
